Sunday, June 29, 2008

Useless and disappointing

Decided to go to Hari Bakat at the last minute. So I went, Won't go into details about the whole thing because theres just too many things to say. The dances were awesome especially the sexy back one. It was cool no doubt. Then, theres Alethea with the violin and Angela with the piano. It was a very beautiful duet. Oh of course I cannot forget, the cheerleaders. Yea, their stunts were awesome. And the beatbox was really cool. It felt like they were singing to a minus one song. And theres the shuffling dance thingi. Hahaa...they look like they were gliding on the stage. It was funny. All the random moving about. =] And Yu Xin could sing really well, I didn't know that. wow hahaa.....
And after all it ended, what happened wasn't nice. Followed Wen and Ai Ni to McD. Before that, we had to wait for someone to go first..hahaa... and I shall not elaborate on that. Private matter =] ..She reminded me of one part of my past, that very painful part where I had sleepless nights thinking about it, and always finding ways into my head when I never wanted it to. Ohh well, thats another story altogether. And when everyone was about to go home, as much as I want to say it out loud and tell the whole world, I won't. And I will not do it. Yes, its depressing and hurtful but I still will refrain myself from thinking about it all over again.
After those months, those very short months. I felt free for once. I wasn't bouded to hurt and pain anymore. I wouldn't pain myself further just to think about it, since there was no hope in the begginning. I wasn't someone else. I am me. Thinking about it has really made me realise that I have brought the pain onto myself. I was giving myself false hopes again and again. I just would not give up and didn't believe that I didn't have a chance. But I was wrong, I was a complete fool. I was ever so stubborn to go on and keep believing. I know better now. I've learn from my mistakes.

Anger and hate keeps welling up

Until it filled the brink of the cup

Banished emotions brought back to life

Like stinging bees around a hive

The thirst for more was never quench

To see and feel and taste that stench

Of horrifying monsters and dreadful nightmares

And black pits of death all ready to stare

look deep into the very soul

Of hate and despise and death so cold

Treacherous hands ressurected the dead

And hurl fresh flesh for lies to be fed

The thickening fog could not be calmed

Like great fire burning to a song

Its young flame dances and fiddles and turn

As the log is set alight to burn

And here's another shorter one........

The ravenous hunger unable to fill

With innocent rodents ready for kill

Foretell the future it you will

But the done deeds you cannot seal

Follow the meandered river to past

To move along for the die to be cast

With shimmering light bestowed upon the last

The one's face hidden behind a black mask

Yes and so I've heard that the form 2 boy whose class is the form 4 row, died. He passed away because of some stupid accident. Hearing this news made me feel how precious life is to us at the moment. Everything could just change with a twist of fate. You would never know that next thing that may happen. As for the poor boy, I'm sure he's at peace. People out there, take chances in life and stop mopping around feeling sorry for yourself or cower and never try out new things. We have only one life to live. And despite the stupid long same "live life as you can only live once" advice thing, its true. Of course everyone has heard the same thing before but, they never seem to do it. Stop wishing you're gone, and don't give up in anything you pursue. Never regret and live life no matter how high the obstacles may be. =]

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