Wednesday, December 30, 2009

This time I will not let anything else get in my way of what I want. :)

Tuesday, December 29, 2009

I'm scared. and I am awfully frightened.

I thought life had moved on when the day had ended three weeks ago.
I thought finally I could actually breath again.
I thought this bleak weather in my life would take a turn.
But you still find your way back.

I don't know how much despair I could still take.
This life of mine is so screwed I can't find a way to walk around it without hitting something else.
It's so exhausting trying to keep up with this charade when madness still rages on.
I've moved on and released my grip onto my past.
But why does it still come back to haunt me?

Monday, December 28, 2009

Embrace this new light that was darkness

Watched Cirque Du Freak;the vampire's assistant yeaterday with the usual people.
Was an awesome show. Really.
Though the main character kind of bugged me a little with his nasal voice.
The perfect action/comedy. Will not work as a film critic...
I love purple smoke and purple contacts!!!

Brace yourselves people for a whole new life.

Went to Taylor's Hartamas campus today to register.
Honestly, the nerves weren't doing any good to me.
Anyway, had talk sessions with the counsellor about my future and yada yada yada.
And finally, I'm in. Hahaa. I almost had a really big laugh about it.

Dropped by 1u for a little leisure walk.
I am friggin scared next year. Anyone save me?

I am a taylor's student now. I wonder how good that really sounds. :)

"Each pathway is a different door taken that leads to a whole new different world"

Thursday, December 24, 2009

I stepped upon two boats, and now I don't know how to get off or get into the other one, without falling in. Where do I really belong?

Thanks for the every moment that had made me feel a step closer to heaven

No psycho-analyzing pictures kay.
If you want perfect ones, they're not here.

Cam sessions with cousin. :))))


Hello people. Time for an update at 3 in the morning.

Penang trip with the lamos (lame-moes) on the 16th of December to the 18th of December.
Had my fair share o
f fun and total freedom with no burdens or whatsoever.
Arms were friggin sore and tired from all the
running games prepared.
I had to run up and down 8 flight of stairs you know.
I'm amazed at my own capabilities.

The beach was absolutely amazing at sunrise and sunset.
I would never ever want to leave that place.
Took some amazing pictures. I meant the scenery okay.. No mockery there.
I know I looked like a mad women, but people, I was reall
y really tired.

Had to take on a dare by eating chicken dipped in pepper an
d tomato sauce, and drenched in coca-cola.
Trust me, you don't want to ever taste that.
Some other people had to do worst than me.
But the guy had fun mixing up weird concoctions that smelled like road kill anyway.
The games prepared was interesting, and you people were really sporting.

I really liked Hard Rock Hotel. :))
And the night we spent at the beach talking and laughing and cam

I like starfishes. The ones that don't wiggle about.

We tried to take pictures of the three girls in the bathroom ba
thing together.
Yea, you know who they are.

We pretended to take pictures, but they screamed like there was a fire in there.

I loved the people, who didn't make me feel like an outcast.

It meant alot to me.

I made eggs. :)
Lots and lots of eggs in the morning.
JC and I had lots of fun.

Thank you guys, for the insanely wonderful, exhilarating experience of a lifetime.
I love you guys!

Close to the heart

Dress shopping with the peeps on the 20th of December
Went to look for dresses for the girls.

Was a whirlwind of a time.
Whooped round the whole shop with dress on dress trying to look for the one.
You guys still look amazing kay!

Had drinks at Juiceworks and babbled alot about the lame stuff as usual.
Proceeded to having tea at Italiannies. Yumm!!!

Prom Night; The last take 21st December
Wasn't in top mood that night.
Some part of me felt missing and a desperate yearning.
But I should not into that.
Everybody looked amazing that night. Honestly.
Felt like a grumpy old hag in a sea of beautiful people.

The entertainers were really good I can give them that.
I like L.VYNN :) Lady virgin, young, n naughty. LOL
But then again, who doesn't.
The games were funny. Thumbs up to those who were really all in to it.

Thank you to those who allowed me to do their make-up.
Zong Ning, Wenyi, Ai Ni, KY, and Sze.
THANK YOU! It was an honour. :)
You guys seriously looked amazing.
And I meant that literally.
Tan Ying! It was so good seeing you again.

The hotel was amazing, and everyone looked great.
Wait... have I said that before??? I wanna say it a thousand times again.

Somehow, the night felt really lonely and quiet despite the excited chatters in the background.
I never felt more alone in the world, though everyone was around me.
The crowded atmosphere disappears slowly behind me.
As if melting away... Leaving me behind dark curtains.
But now, I won't complain.
I never gave up on you.

PMR results tomorrow. Good luck ya'll!!

Till then, will be busy planning my college life.....
Cheers for an action-packed December.

Tuesday, December 22, 2009

Forever here

I'm closing it all in.

I know I am a little neurotic, but thats the way it is.
How could I laugh when I should not.
How could I stay sane, when inside I am falling apart.

Everything is wrong.
But I guess its something I have to start getting used to.

Saturday, December 19, 2009


Hello people!!
I'm back from Penang and I am absolutely exhausted.
My legs are strained and my arms hurt like crazy.
Won't go into details though but overall the whole trip was extremely fun.
Will write in details later.
Tata people. Prom is on Monday... :)

Wednesday, December 9, 2009

Everything else that does not matter

Everything is just so so wrong. Everything has turned the other around so abruptly, I couldn't even feel the ground shaking. Where had it all gone wrong? Had I messed up everything so quickly, I wasn't even able to notice it myself? Things were not suppose to be this way. It had all seemed so perfect just a few days ago. But nothing was ever perfect was it. The madness never goes away, it was there, lurking in my own shadows.

Was I so unconscious of my ownself, that I was not even in control of my own doings anymore? Was I so dark a person? I'm tired, tired of all these self-doubting. Tired of trying to cope with my self. Tired of struggling so hard to really know what is true. But true was never really there forme to find.

What is right and what is wrong?
How is being selfish and thoughts should not be there?
I am torned with this endless struggle.
So petty, with trying to fight away these selfish feelings?

But who is the selfish one and who isn't.
I cannot take away all these anger.
And I cannot take them out either.
I'm trapped inside, burning with all the rage, tortured so violently.

Fuck the world.
Who gives a damn about me.
Fuck life, and the friends who abandoned me.
Fuck the people who did not try to understand.
Because selfish, wasn't me to begin with.
It is the people I do not need, and the drama that was more than enough.

It is amazing, how my thoughts still remain clear, eventhough the insanity has begun to overwhelm me. The strong urge to unleash this rage was too tempting a choice I had to abandone it. I could only fight inside myself, unsure of what to do, and where to go.

So afrain of the lonelines that slowly starts to engulf me. And I am being thrown into the dark.
There is nothing worth holding on to, nobody worth fighting for.
There is only me and myself, and the light that is taken away from me.

As I slowly subside into the insignificant sidelines, I wonder will I resurface.

Sunday, December 6, 2009

Apocalypse will settle on heaven's moon

Cruel this world have been
To turn out fate that cries within
Be sworn the truth of hearts be seen
Upon cold lips as winter begin

To steal away of my one soul
Be it in the hands of one's heart cold
The heaven's moon that stood out bold
For yearning or longing of one's part sole

And ends the day, dawn has not brag
To linger in time, for longer has drag
Weakened, in tears that flow and ebb
To enclose these withered words, love beg

Saturday, December 5, 2009

Haengbokan Gibunijyo

Ahhh! I finally got the original soundtrack. Haha... I am in bliss. Its mine mine mine! I love kim bum! Off to plaster his perfect smile on my wall now :) Dad bought me the whole collection of shakespeare's work. I am absolutely happy today. Nothing's gonna take that away from me. Excluding spm. Darn you! Two more days. Urgh!

Tuesday, December 1, 2009

Alive once again

Can you believe it? My discman of a gajillion years ago is alive!! I swear I have not seen the thing for years. And it lives! Okay maybe the humming sound is abit too loud. Got to send it for repair. I wonder if people can still repair this thing. Feels so nostalgic. :)