Monday, March 31, 2008


URRGHHH...I was just peacefully doing my sivic project and some bloody lala chinessey asshole comes and tell me dat I seduced her good friend's boyfriend. WTFFF!!!! god, she or he or it was like cursing me in chinese saying I am seducing people's husband. What an asshole..thinking I got nothing else better to do and now there goes all my happy mood. Thanks a lot BITCH....he she it even says that I can't compare to her his it's friend because she is beautiful..WTF>>> hahaa I have lala people scolding me....LOLS

Saturday, March 29, 2008

Heyy, its all over for me

My super super cool medal..

Sports Day has finally come and passed. Oh, its too quick....time passed too quick. First there I was practicing my butt for competition and now its all over. All there is left is next year...

I'm really gonna miss cheer. Oh ya, Did YOU KNOW??? Yellow house got 1ST.. helllllo can you believe it. Its the first time. Thanks to all those yellow house cheerleaders out there and aisya and yasmin for choreographing and juliet for that super basket toss and for everyone who worked hard to make it perfect. hahaa I just can't stop smiling thinking bout it. When I went up to get my prize Puan Zubaidah was like giving me the medal and I had to bow really really low. Then I forgot to shake hands and Ashley was like shake hands shake hands and giving me that sarcastic look.. LOL. Puan Zubaidah's hands was like suspended in mid-air.

The sad thing was green house got last. I don't know how and I don't know why.. We were like numb cuz we don't know should we be rejoicing or not. sheeetzzz those teachers.


But overall I had a good fun. Wanted to cheer for tarik tali but we me juat lee and dong didn't want to burn under the sun so we ended up taking red house umbrella with the shiny stuff and 5 words all over it..hahaa. When we got there everyone was like heyy thats ours and were fighting for it..hahaa lol. It was soo funny. Dong went running to find it.

Had awesome pictures of everyone. Well not practically everyone. I really want to see the video of us again. I loved it. Especially Juliet's pike basket toss. YAY!!!!!!
Nazar in a funny flying turtle like outfit for green house. He was out mascot... He was flapping his "wings" everytime we cheered. FUNNINYADidn't get to take a picture of Hong Onn. Her sepanduk outfit was really really nice. Like some fairytale princess or the sort. Her sandals were like few inches high. How in the world did she walk.
Joo Yi, me and Yam's eyes

Us and red house= Charis and Nabilah

Me and Charis...really like the light effect thingi

Wednesday, March 26, 2008

I'm sorry

I'm sorry and I feel so sorry and I don't know anything but I feel guilty and I'm so sorry.

I've been there for you

Went to The Curve to watch the Charm Cheerleading Chanpionships last Sunday.. It was packed like shit...Didn't get to see anyone except Zoe and Kar Mun. LOLS Went there with Peir Ee since no one could go with me... Had my haircut and ate at KimGary.. It was expensive shittzz. Never again am i going there without my mum...lols. Went round everywhere watch a little of cheer then walk then go back then walk again.. We passed by the flea market dont know how many countless times..Then in the end we sat at Starbucks and talked like that for one and a half hour...hahaa. Saw Weng Keong and Wei Sheng too....Don't really know them though. We're walking alone.... And it started raining so me and Peir Ee walked under the rain to our car and home. The end. Not much of a story, well who asked you not to go ...hahaa

Btw, I made six poms-poms in two days... SIX!!!! Well okayy my maid did help me.. =)

Anger swallowed her up and showed her things she never was suppose to see

I'm tired and sore and tired and sore....from???? practice and making poms-poms and practice and dancing and fighting and....urgh!!!! Why does these people have to make cheerleading so freaking unpleasent..damn it!!! People are so freaking irresposible..I have ended up doing all their freaking dirty work!!! FUCK IT kayy...I dun care hell anymore. I been in this sport much much longer than you and you dare to say that I'm not doing it right. What about you?? So if you forget its fine, if your friend forget its fine..WHAT IS THIS. You being what ..Oh UNFAIR. heard this word before...huh??? I bet you do. And because of all this you are DAMN hurting everybody...everyone is tired kayy. we are not some like working machine or something. You don't have to keep rolling your eyes..I get your damn point...JEEZZ DAMN IT. I am so fucked up right now and I juz have so many things to say right now these words are juz pouring out. JUZ LIKE THAT.. And I really hope you see this so you will get fucked up too and know how I feel. I'm tired and I have nothing more to say.

Saturday, March 22, 2008

Shadows swallowes her whole

So tired and sore from practices... got lots of pom-poms to make...Can't delay anymore, raptai is on Wednesday..AHHHAHHHHAH.. Tomorrow is Charm Cheerleading Championships..anyone going with me??? Anyone at all??

Thursday, March 20, 2008

Devouring time

Time has long past and I'm back on..lols
Whitney is busy with her big sweet sixteen burfday bash and so is kar yee. Oh and I got back my add maths paper and well.....I sucked in it. O ammm geee, I got like one digit only..Can you believe that?? hahaa. Sports day is coming up and I have like loads of things to do. And now knowing that my blog is on private..( haha I didn't know that before) I've got loads of things to write. And I mean really banyak banyak things....

Yellow house pom-pom..well lets just say that the outfit is damn freaking expensive and not to say ugly too!!! Omg what the hell is wrong with this people and I am sooo mad right here because I am payiing a hundred bucks for something that I will never in my life ever wear again!!! And all this is thanks to who?? oh well I bet that person should know. All she does is just say pay me RM 130..for what?? clothes.. no size no options or even try asking what do others think and she just goes off and buy it without even asking my opinion. I don't even think that she tried wearing it. Tights from zara for about Rm 80. Money drop from the sky???? fro you maybe but not from me k. And that bloody woman, just so you know that you are sooo preety doesn't mean that you have to put yourself infront all the time and I meant alllllllll the time. You think you are the flyer and you get all th fame and everything but you know what...thinking of you standing up there is the pits!!! stepping on me with your damn heavy body...lucky I will never have to do it again....what is your damn problem??? Give other people a damn chance k!!! jeez damn it. I am so angered by all these stuff and yet so worried by it too. Then what, I am also like some messenger, no credit for texting other people to tell them got practice but got enough for your boyfriend... What is this. And I have to waste my bloody credit to tell everyone got practice then later you tell me that practice is cancelled. Are you even human at all??? Telling me to do all this when this is suppose to be your job as captain. Then what, I have to help all of YOU to make your pom-pom because??? you all don't know how to do?? teach la damn it. dun know how...I'll teach you!! Go home and start crying to your friends and start bitching bout me cuz thats all you ever do besides chasing for fame and boyfriends. I have to do all your dirty work and you never gave me a single credit. Thank God I am still human and i can still take all your work and do it with a fake smile on my face, laughing with you all, thinking everything is right with this world. You have no privileges for nothing at all cuz you are just a minor..I tell you. A minor and please, I am not something you can push to just because you don't want to do it.

Urgh.....the anger

I pierced my ears yesterday...why?? I know my mum doesn't let me but I still do it. This is the first time I did against her will. I always thought that I will accomplish something great and feel great but all I felt was the pain and worry that she may have found put that I did it. I did something that did not make me feel better or more powerful of the sort but guilty. but anyhow, whats done is done. And pray that she never finds out.

Sonnets of my memoirs

When, in disgrace with fortune and men's eyes,I all alone beweep my outcast stateAnd trouble deaf heaven with my bootless criesAnd look upon myself and curse my fate,Wishing me like to one more rich in hope,Featured like him, like him with friends possess'd,Desiring this man's art and that man's scope,With what I most enjoy contented least;Yet in these thoughts myself almost despising,Haply I think on thee, and then my state,Like to the lark at break of day arisingFrom sullen earth, sings hymns at heaven's gate;For thy sweet love remember'd such wealth bringsThat then I scorn to change my state with kings.

Saturday, March 15, 2008

I am unconditionally and irrevocably in love with you

I am in love?? yess hahaa. Random isn't it??
School is finally starting and my boring days are sooo over. Can't wait for sports
I am so addicted to twilight and new moon. I just love I mean lurve to read gthem all over and over again..lols

I'm still very angry at some certain person which I think Lai Yee would only know but I hope that she won't tell annyone though.

Yesterday at art class, hahaa the fun of it. I finally finished my strawberries and my 3 picture art.. Then we had another assignment, and that is paint something really random. I'm serious bout the random part..hahaa. Me and TamTam were like picking up paintbrushes and just paint TamTam was like painting big big colour bubbles and I was painting random spikes all over the place....Then I added strawberries and Lai Yee said they look like evil strawberries...So in the end, we just wasted paint and time but needless to say it was really fun. Lai yee drew funny cactus with an egg for a least that is what I think it is....LOLS.


The reign of evil strawberries by gwen.. =)

Tonight is JunYen's big BIG burfday bash and everyone, well nearly everyone was talking about it. With catering and semi-formal so poshy..The way I would like to put it. Everyones excited bout it...I may not really know her well but hey...



Friday, March 14, 2008

Never again

I sometimes try once, just once to fit in. When I do, I just come right out again. I can't help feeling pity for myself why can't I be like others, just being laidback and enjoying life. No. No I can't. I try. But I never do suceed do I. I still try to hide behind others because I'm afraid. I always am afraid.

Thursday, March 13, 2008

I can't believe how hard it is to stop me from loving you

Went to the gathering yesterday..was sooo nervous dont know how they look like now. Bu tin the end I did find out. Peir Ee wa so excited n seeing my friends, but she had to go to too bad. Was walking like crazy in 1u. Then met up with them and they went to wong kok to eat...we were like talking and talking and the stupid waiter and waitress didn't even come to ask for our order...they sooo shitty larr.. so we all were like putting up our hands like some lil kid again...
But still they didn't take our orders so we just stood up and walked
Then we went scouring for other places, me and shera went to look for someone then met up with them..can you believe it..We sort of like got lost in 1u haha.. We couldn't find the place we were suppose to go. LOL. In the end Joyee came and find us and took us to the restaurant...
Talk talk talk yada yada yada, then we went bowling...Oh oh ya I saw Melvin with some of our ex-form fives. And and I saw Jen Ai too..she got 9A1s and 1 B3..So gosh...yesterday the SPM results came out so yeah...tears of joy and...ya tears...
After bowling..went only.yup.early..too early in fact..Whitney and Yinky were at 1u and they stopped by the bowling alley and yeah saw my friends and yah...sayed one word only...LALA....haha. And that pretty much wraps up my day....


Tuesday, March 11, 2008

Feelin blue

Tomorrow is gathering party, then Thursday is outing with Yinky which I much MUCH prefer....
So pick one...which one???!!!! I 'm feeling blue and also worried bout my add maths. Gotta kill Encik ravi for making me wait.URGH!!! Yellow house pom-pom practice still no news. And I am stranded at home here wanting to go out so badly...haiyo...feeling mellow and sooo sleepy..hahaa
As for someone out there I can;t wait to see when I get back on track..hahaa..okay being a lil crazy right noe but still holding myself....

Staying sixteen forever and ever

My phone and cousin'sPoms-poms on my look at them...hahaa

Full of sheety tuitions and can you believe that I can't wait to go to school again. Yess i know I can't believe that I'm saying that. Oh by the way, I finally bought the twilight saga...haha so happpiiie MAN!!!! I have finally own it. Well except the third book la, just wait..I am gonna get it. LOLS..

Dad is getting into tempers these days...jeezz, gonna give him the silent treatment..
My cousin's name for your information. hahaa we were having dinner then there were like massive amounts of carrote left over so we took it and started cutting shapes..haha lolhahaa, both of us just being fabulous. Got a little bored so started doing stuff with my art block and a marker pen...
My cousin was like snapping away telling me to look where I'm suppose to look. Desperate people calls for desperate times..we were bored of our bones....wait does that even sound right??

Haaha yes Edward Cullen the fictional character in a book. I just love the way he is being described and what he went through for someone he loves but cannot be with..okay m

ay be being obsessive over him, but what can you do bout it.haa

Sunday, March 9, 2008


Is the world being harsh on me or what these days..
It wasn't even my freakinn fault and ypu have to like what avoid me all day like I am some kind of a damn plague..then you later ask me to help you find your freakin shit book.
What do you take me for huh?? some thing dat will let you put your anger on and then do your it yourself and don't even try to act like nothing is going on. DAMN IT!!!!!!

I wish there was someone whom I could have fun with, my one friend i could confide in , camwhored with, go out with and celebrate with. Just that special someone who will always be with me and let me in on everything. Someone who will mean the world to me. Just absolutely everything. It will just be us against the world. Just when I thought I found one, shes someone else already.

"roses and butterflies"
Tomorrow is music exam. The exam that I have been trying to squeeze my time into. And finally tomorrow its going to be over..lolss
Got into a sort of fight with mum and dad today. Over costumes for pom-pom. haha lol
Had to pay aisya RM130 for outfits from zara..and I dun even know how it looks like and of it even suits me.....
The depths i go for cheerleading. Dad was like dun need to join at all, quit because he doesn't want to pay that kind nof money and starts lecturing me on spoilt kids..DAMN IT!!!! whats ur damn problem??? everything i do comes with a price. Its not me who decides k.

I have finally fallen in love and I am sure dis time. I know we may never be cuz I'm not much of a someone. But talking to you and seeing you from afar makes my heart content.This is a secret i keep to myself. I will tell when it' s time.

Saturday, March 8, 2008

your presence reincarnates my once dead soul

CHOOOO results are sooo going down the drain.
I am sooo angry at everything and everyone around me and I hide myself for soo long I forgot how to be really happy anymore. I can't stay angry all the time because then I will be my past self again...which I am trying to avoid now. results now are making me sooo depressed... life itself is making me soo depressed. I tried. No matter how much I change on the outside, its still me and I hate it. I try hard, really i do.
i'm boiling up and no one can stop me now.
haih. first before i go, I must tell whitney and yinky this...You guys are everything to me, please dont leave me in school alone k!!!!!
Sweet sixten burfdays going round, seems to be the talk of everyone these days.......

Just seeing you from afar makes my heart content

Saturday, March 1, 2008

Sober for me

Lets reminisce the good old times...................................

There was suppose to be yellow house practice today, but the destination was closed so change to ttdi then school and finally nothing. People please please tell me beforehand about your practice time and discuss it with me thank you.

Exam sucks thats all I can say. I am sooooo doomed. Filling my head with little thoughts now and then again. All those subjective questions like moral and sejarah..oh ohh and bio are filled with shrap (as tan ying calls them). Missed her randomness and humour. She called me just last Wed and we talked for one looooooooooong hour bout flirts and fluts and florts.....well ya stuff like that and bout determining tha gender of her latest burfday pressie, a hamster name oreo.... Why oreo, no idea but its quite a gud name though for a hamster. haha. lol

Thursday physics tuition and every other thursday night from now on... Funny yam pey and random me. By the way, do you know that the british language for decceleratinng is retardation..hahaha. yes so instead of saying deccelerate we say retardate.haha

So tired from thinking bout everything and studies as well. workbooks.workbooks.workbooks.
Exam finished yesterday and people went to 1u. And did I go..noooooooo.And why because my mum wants me to stay home and sleep.BAH. sleep????

Chinese tuition today and more studying...urgh. So eager to go out and shop shop shop.
23rd of march go to cineleisure to watch charm cheer competition and some other international teams perform.... not sure what time is it though....please do infrom me of anybody knows...thank you