Tuesday, June 30, 2009

Troubles melt like lemon drops when you're here

Yes, these words should definately be posted large.

Haha. I'm having a very good day. :)

Sunday, June 28, 2009

This faith has become obsolete

Tranformers yesterday night at Trop City Mall.
I wanna watch it again.

the whole movie nearly consisted of only one song.
Numb and New Divide still sound the dame.

OMGGG. Hahaa. I am in love with all the autobots and decepticons.
Bumble bee was super cute at the beginning.
He cried oil. Lols.

I still think Leo and the ex-army guy was really really funny.
" I am below enemy scrotum "

and one more...

" this would be the best moment of my life, but it will be better if you weren't lying above my testicles "

But still the show would be best if people in front of me weren't busy making out.
Get your own movie.

Here's to make up for the sudden writer's block for many many months.
I guess somehow the show inspired me. Or was it the book I read at border's??

these dreams of mine
were so refined
within them they hide
unending inside

to watch the glimmer pool of suns
dawning away like yellow buns
and with distances crawling away
to will this yearning burden, stay

i write with words of reason
devoured by sanity and high treason
sifting time away like sand
and together will we write out our end

I don't think it was very good. But I guess it's still readable.
here's one more.

the little truths unevidently shared
was too much less none have cared
enclosed upon the life they wither
barred away the choices they hinder

so calmly, so discreet they whisper within
this saint, this lord who silently crept in
the darkened day left little choice
to beseech the unending singing voice

without the words, the rest still hides
against the roaring sun, his words it defies
begone will the wind and the sky
unreachable this dark secrets still lie

Saturday, June 27, 2009

Just like the end

No no no.
The kupu-kupu is sold at RM105. Hahaa.
My phone is still under repair and I have been without it for two weeks now.
Its a torture. This shows how stuck I am to my phone.

Going to watch transformers tonight.

Thought I'd do a quiz. Just for fun.

1. What have you been doing recently?

2. Do you ever turn your handphone off?
Nope. Although the battery runs out really quickly.

3. What happened at 10am today?
I was fighting for the bathroom.

4. When did you last cry?
I don't want to remember.

5. Believe in Fate/Destiny?
I guess so, if it counts as sanity.

6. What do you want in life now?
I can't really say.
What I want is something incomprehensible.

7. Do you carry an umbrella when it rains or just put up your hood?
An umbrella.
If I happen to carry one with me.

8. What's your favourite thing to do on bed?
Read and dream.
9. What bottoms are you wearing now?
Blue shorts.

10. What are the nicest things in your inbox?
Someone who gave me an insight on wire-bending jewelery.
She is making another one for me. :)

11. Do you tend to make relationships complicated?
I won't. If I am ever in one.

12. Are you wearing anything borrowed from anyone?

13. What was the last movie you caught?
Terminator. Though that was considered ages ago.

14. What are you proud of?
Making clay charms.

15 . What does the oldest text msg in your inbox says and who is it from?
Are you going to krs?
From Ying Yi

16. What was the last song you sang out loud?
Like a song - Lenka

17. Do you have any nicknames?
Wun Wun.
yes its weird.
Only my grandmother calls me that.

18. What does the newest text msg says and who is it from?
Hey sherren here. Me n jeng nt goin to mrs chee today ya.
from sherren (obviously stated there )

19. What time did you go to sleep last night?
about 1

20. Are you currently happy?

21. Who gives you the best advice?

22. Do you eat whipped cream straight from the can?
Err. nope.
Mumma never let me buy whip cream

23. Who did you talk to on phone last night?
Nobody in particular.

24. Is something bugging you right now?
My future.

25. Who is the last person to make you laugh?
The girl in add maths tuition.

26. Do you like yourself?
I guess so.
Excuse the hesitation.

27. You want $5 or $10?
If both is possible.

28. Do you think you are stupid sometimes?

29. Who is your best best best friend?
Erm. I guess that would be me.

30. What will you do if you like that boy/girl?
I really really don't know.

31. Who are your favourite stars?
For now its Lenka and Zee Avi.

32. You hate your mother sometimes in some ways?
I can't deny that can I

33. Do you had even stead before?

34. What type of boy/girl do you like?
One who understands the songs I sing.

35. Now are you single/attached?

Friday, June 26, 2009

Love in moderation

Michael Jackson died.
Okay fine, he moved on...
I hope that sounds better.

Every radio station is playing Michael Jackson's songs today and I've heard the song black and white three times in a row today.
On the way home from school in the car,
On the way to art class in the car,
On the way home from add maths tuition in the car...
Wonder if he's trying to tell me something???

So there's a mini edu fair today, and it was my first time attending an edu fair.
Walked round like a lost person cuz I have no idea on what should I be enquiring about.
Anyway, Jye Ying had a heart to accompany me while we walked aimlessly pretending we knew what we want. And of course there are the goodies, altho they aren't good to the extend but good enough.

Got locked outside physics lab for awhile cuz I went late to class.
It was the photoshoot for heaven's sake.
But we got in eventually.

Went round the fair with Juat then with Ming again.
Seriously, I really REALLY want to go to Raffles.
Or maybe it was all the persuasion that talked me into it.

I heard someone was flirting with the Mat Salleh at the Segi College booth.
Hahaa. I don't think you would wanna know who is that.

Oh damn.. I'm in love.
I wouldn't want to know how much that costs too.

Wednesday, June 24, 2009

Don't dwell on a hope that will never blossom

was there a chance
to find this besought answer
would you rather dance
to calm this panic seizure

it still feels like i do not understand the other half of the world,
eventhough people tell me i do.

Sunday, June 21, 2009

The girl who left home

Dear world,

Today was a day so different from the other. And this day has never seemed so bleak.

Saturday, June 20, 2009

The large difference between me and you

Pretty?? Haha. It's made of wire and beads.
Unfortunately I can't afford it.

Unable to attend Jai-Ho practise today.
I'm still feeling really down about the whole audition thing.
But I'm okay. :)

Anyway, I envy the two people who sits next to me in add maths tuition yesterday.
Wen, you should know who they are right??
Actually, they're not so bad. Just her two other friends only.

So, I'm signing off now. There's not much to say after all.

Friday, June 19, 2009

unfazed I still am about reality

I absofuckinglutely hate you.
Yes, and I mean every word of it.

I didn't get through the auditions and I am not okay with it.
So stop asking.
And yes, I'm freakin disappointed.

And to top it all off, I'm more disappointed in you.

down winding shafts and narrow hall
the journeyed soul was never small
the lights emanates and voices call
sunlight was unstinting as it was tall

below the hallowed unfazed path
the wind was not but cold as death
before the withered door way is gone
the mirror inversion was just as forlorn

you were always prudent and strong
but this time your judgement was wrong
you sing another incomprehensible song
though poignant it is, its gone too long

it almost feels like you know what is going on
you're the on standing on the brink of two universe
and you watch
you watch with cold eyes
you watch with implacable says
and the rest just wouldn't know

i want to know your every thought
because you're always on mine

Wednesday, June 17, 2009

Laugh at its absurdity

I run from hate
I run from prejudice
I run from pessimists
But I run too late

I run my life
Or is it running me?
Run from my past
I run too fast
Or too slow it seems

When lies become the truth
That's when I run to you

This world keeps spinning faster
To a new disaster, so I run to you
I run to you, Baby

When it all starts coming undone
Baby, you're the only one I run to
I run to you

We run on fumes
Your life and mine
Like the sands of time
Slippin' right on through

Our love's the only truth
That's why I run to you

This world keeps spinning faster
To a new disaster, so I run to you
I run to you

When it all starts coming undone
Baby, you're the only one I run to
I run to you

This world keeps spinning faster
To a new disaster, so I run to you
I run to you, Baby

I always run to you
Run to you

I absolutely love this song. I run to you by Lady Antebellum.

Had lunch with Wen Dee and Chern Yao today.
And I have learned three words to day!!!
Hooray, I'm now three words smarter. Hahaa.
Felt a little under the weather today. I guess it was the lack of sleep lately.
Must quickly finish art project. 20 more pages to go.
I love Famous Amous soft cookie.
It's been a month and two weeks since I've eaten it.
You want a bite??? :)

Please please let me in, I'll promise to clean your shoes.. :)

I hate you
Because life was never hard on you
I hate you
Because you have everything at your disposal
I hate you
Because dreams seemed like a footstep away for you
I hate you
Because everyone loves you
I hate you most
Because he loved you.

Monday, June 15, 2009

What if nothing ever works out?

Today has to be the darkest and the brightest day of my life. Seriously.
How often does two things happen to clash into each other at once??
Wait shall I rephrase?
I don't really know how to explain this phenomenon, but I'll leave it up to you.
Will simply not talk about results because I really did get this super big smack in the face.
Numbers can be lethal, especially to your future.
But that is only if you're where I'm standing. :)

People stop playing around, now we've got that big smack we wanted.
It's about time we go back into reality.

Puan Tang was lecturing me on results today.
Sighs.. Mum and Dad are gonna strangle me alive. Period.

July july so much to do.
Hari Koko, Cheer 09, Malam Bakat ..... etc etc

We're only one step away from our future.

I wanna share something on the essay I've written.
This somehow made me ponder for a little bit there.
But this means a lot to me.

Life has provided us with many choices, and it is with these choices that paved our life and the way we live it.
Choices are what we face each day from deciding where we want to go or what we want to do.
By making these choices, we are choosing the path of how we want our lives to be.
Sometimes these decisions are made based on how we really feel, and then some others are made based on what people would want us to do.
But it all depends on us, because we hold the chance of making a decision that in some way or another, will change our lives.
I, too as a person have decisions to make too, but I have come to realise that some decisions may not only affect myslef but other people too.
So choose where do you want to go from here.

I pray that we pass. I admit that we sound pretty awesome.

Sunday, June 14, 2009

I will run to you because you're my truth

Went over to Hao Min's house for the roast pig party thing. :)
Was quite reluctant to go at first, but mum was a very persistent woman.
So I did go and it sort of felt awkward at first, but it turned out okayy.
Talked a little, ate a little, then watched yes man a little.
Then, we head out to the field to play basketball.
It's been a long time since I've played basketball. Hahaa.
Had fun.
Mum sort of did me a favour.
I know Hao Min's little secret. Hahaa.

Now I'm waiting for people to arrive to arrive so we could practice our song.
I'm excited as hell.

Saw the Estee Lauder model search thingi again in 1u yesterday.
Most of the contestants are about my age or so.
I could tell it from their face.
People with big dreams. :)
Wonder if she's joining it again this year?

Finally got to watch maid of honour.
It was sweet.

Friday, June 12, 2009

A long and bitter time elapsed

Gwen loves the new song new divide by linkin park. :)
Not up to much lately.
My holidays are practically spent going online, attending tuitions, doing project works, and can you believe it... studying.
Mum wouldn't let us sleep later than 9 and we had to study for two hours everyday before we can go out to play. And that doesn't include tuition.
Life sucks. Hahaa. And I do know that.

Life will continue as usual tomorrow.

Time elapsed, quickly and quietly
Music resounded, gently and hurriedly
The light that rendered visible now fades
And the songs emanates from within creates
An anguish way of everything
And words become incomprehensible
Strewn about they turn into

Thursday, June 11, 2009

The rose labyrinth

Rachel Tan has arranged a string quartet piece on her own.
A big round of applause.
The rest remains a secret.

I hope everything will work out for auditions.

Holidays are going to be over soon.
Its a thursday already.
Went over to Tropicana City Mall, and I think it's not bad.
It looks more like curve and ikano though.
Not fully opened yet but there's a new gsc there. :)
Suddenly I miss watching barbie. Hahaa.
Me and my random childhood fantasies.

it was pride that had restricted me.
it was shame that had shadowed me.
it was words that had left me.
and it was feelings that had disobeyed me.

i ran out of words to say...

i'm not so sad anymore.
i've learned, and i've been better that i used to be.

i thought i saw your face out the window,
and i thought the illusions were finally going away.
what was i thinking?

Wednesday, June 10, 2009

Waiting until my heart drops

Gwen is banishing her problem with being bored by watching xiaxue.
Yes, I am bored to that extend.
I just refuse to finish my art project.
Better start tomorrow.

I have a sudden craving for ice-cream. Hahaa

Sooner or later I'm going to start worrying about prom.
With the sudden lack of time to go dress hunting.
Will just have to settle with somthing simple. :)

HaoMin's so called Barbeque party this friday and I have totally forgot about it.
See you peeps there then. If I do remember to attend.

There's a song that's inside of my soul
It's the one that I've tried to write over and over again
I'm awake in the infinite cold
But You sing to me over and over and over again

So I lay my head back down
And I lift my hands
and pray to be only Yours
I pray to be only Yours
I know now you're my only hope

Sing to me the song of the stars
Of Your galaxy dancing and laughing
and laughing again
When it feels like my dreams are so far
Sing to me of the plans that You have for me over again

So I lay my head back down
And I lift my hands and pray
To be only yours
I pray to be only yours
I know now you're my only hope

I give You my destiny
I'm giving You all of me
I want Your symphony
Singing in all that I am
At the top of my lungs I'm giving it back

So I lay my head back down
And I lift my hands and pray
To be only yours
I pray to be only yours
I pray to be only yours
I know now you're my only hope

Tuesday, June 9, 2009

I want nobody but you

and I am very very tired.
Finally I got to have a really good bath and rest.

I guess camp wasn't all that bad I thought it was going to be.
Was a little moody in the beginning because I was separated from my friends and was placed in a group full of little people and one stranger.
Pengetua apparently had brought in five of his former school pupils.
Okay, so where should I start first, because there's so much I wanna say all at once.

Firstly, I had to bear with the group that I was in because nobody would let me change.
And I had to bear a little bit with the people whom I wasn't familiar with.
It was a little hard for me then, but I guess I got over it.

Had fun playing with the outdoor games they set up for us.
But the bet was the water games.
Got splashed in both girl's and guy's toilet.
It was wet and well... dirty. Hahaa. But I had fun. :)

Moving on... if your eyes are not tired yet...

Took a bath in the school was I guess the most hardest thing to do.
And I will not elaborate on that.

Had dinner and sat down to listen on how to make lanterns out of recycled items.
The man they had invited for the talk was very creative.
He could make anything out of literally anything.

But before the talk started, there was a big fuss on some problem in school.
I will not talk about it because it scares me.
But I think I will survive.
Night activities were canceled later on because of it.
Sang some songs with tealight candles glowing infront of us.
Then we all went to bed.
Or at least all of them went to bed.

I happened to be the only one not sleeping besides the ajks.
I had a lot to think that night, and yes I was given the whole night to think about it.
but then thats another story to tell.
The snores heard from girls and the sound of the blasting air-con was enough to keep me awake.
And an addition of two girls squeeshing me right in the middle.

Nyways. Woke up and did some morning activities and played games again.

Will refrain from complaining about the crazy, somewhat lala group leader I have.
Fine I am mean, but I certainly do hope he doesn't see this.
He was playing around with his girlfriend that had attended the camp and they were certainly catching everybody's attention.
People were giggling and taking sneak pictures of them together.
Finally Puan Loh walked over to them and started talking to them.
It was really really funny because they were doing things people should'nt be doing in public.
They aren't from our school by the way, but no names mentioned. :)

After that I missed half of the closing ceremony and went straight to tuition.
I am dead tired now and every muscle and sinew in my body are aching like hell.
Except my fingers of course... You don't really use them in playing outdoor games do you??

Okay I will stop the long story telling here.
I guess I can say that I have learned stuff from this camp.
And it was fun.

A big thanks to everyone who had contributed in making the camp a success!!
Woot Woot. Big round of applause.


Friday, June 5, 2009

Brace yourself.

Time is still slowly dripping away.
Have you ever felt a longing to hold on every second, like holding on to the rope of tug of war, willing it to stop and come back towards you.
That is what I am going through right now.

Wonder what am I gonna do.

Nothing was there in the beginning

"Love was never defined by the beauty of the mere decoration,
but by the songs she sings that only he could understand."

Taunted by the mockery and unwillingness harboured within,
yeilding every exposed truth and unsaid words.

Fussing about with add maths project and art project.
Sheesh. Whats the point with add maths anyway.
Mum is getting crankier nowadays. Its getting irritating.
Can't wait to attend school camp.
I can't believe that I said that myself.
I am going to chinese camp.

See you soon people.

He's hot.

Wednesday, June 3, 2009

Trickling water

Did you miss our little petty talks, and the brief moments we spent together?
About the little things we had in common, and the little things we share?

Maybe it was me, who had been thinking too much.
It was me, who had assumed so deeply until the truth was not very kind to me.

I smile alone, because I thought life was kind to me.
I smiled in silence, because I thought now there was something to look forward to each day.
I smiled in tears, because I thought these were all illusions to me.
But I smile to myself, because I know something happened before.

Sometimes I could look forward to each night, I could dream of the things I could never own.
The things I wanted an the things I yearn would all be mine.
But daybreak would eventually come, and everything would be as before.
It has become a habit I guess, to follow the order of things already being set.
To only look from afar and not understand what is it like.

So now I could only wait, until time slips away and trickles like water.
To wait is a hard thing to do, but everything is out of my league now.
There are still the other hundred thousand things to do.
Love can still wait.

Life does not stop for anybody. So why should I?

Monday, June 1, 2009

Dare you to come a little closer

Sometimes I envy the life I do not have.

A stitch in time

Hello bubbas!
Just came back at ten this morning. :)
My uncle had to go to work so we had to leave at 4 in the morning.
I can't believe how much I've missed my grandmother and all my other relatives.
Watch my goof ball of a cousin getting married and his sister dating. Hahaa.
Anyways, will leave the pictures for you people to see.

We had to help with arranging the flowers and ribbons for the car when we arrived.
My cousin's daughter brettany.

Pretty pretty flowers. :)

Another cousin's wife and mum arranging the head.

Prayers on eve of wedding.

The one in Pyjamas is my goof ball of a cousin.
He was still posing lala pictures even when he was getting married tomorrow.

Got to ride in the car that night and everyone was staring.

Brettany and her brother Kenneth.
He has pretty dimples.

There... the goofball's getting married.

Playing games to get through the door.
He had to hang a carrot around his waist and have his friends eat from there.
You know what I mean.
And they had to drink sour milk from a baby bottle.

My cousin and his wife. :)
He was the one who always throw us around because he was so tall.
Childhood memories.
Now he's getting married.
I wish him all the best in life and his expecting baby.

Me and Syuen.

Went to watch a chinese opera outside my grandma's house.
It was the God of hell's birthday.
We watched a guy got possesed by the God so people could worship him.
Chinese opera has a very very confusing plot.

Thats all for today.
Didn't get to take much pictures cuz we were busy running around doing errands and had to babysit Kenneth and Brettany.
But it was one hell of a day.
And I'm happy.