Saturday, April 26, 2008

Will you still stay with me when fire engulves me whole

My name is on the
me and ky

I cleaned the house for moral kerja amal...hahaa can you believe it..

I don't understand what is goin on..Why is everything such a blur and why can't it just be in black and white...Things are just not what they meant to be are they. All the talk and gossips behind backs that may be true and some may not be what they seem. Being soft and following what other people do is what I've always been doing..And still in the end, If anyone knew at all..I'm being pulled down in that deep deep hole too. Monstrous lies and schemes that didn't have any good intentions at all seems to find their way around. Will I eventually come out to the surface or be buried by the lies that weigh upon me. Because all I hear are soft whispers that follows the wind....I hover nearby and yet I still can't hear it anymore clearly. The mist is a wall only I can't seem to penetrate.

Many things have been going on lately and then there exams too..... OMG....I seriously am burdened by everything. Would anyone lift it off for me.. I'm still happy bout one thing though, Its fate I know, because it links everything in this world to me.

I've falled for you, deeply...but would you fall for me???

Sunday, April 20, 2008

A wonderful beginning leads to a wonderful ending

Whitney's party can be described in one thing. Awesome.
Well you got to give some credit to the girl who has been stressing over her party details for like one month...haha. Well everything seemed to paid of last night. Pictures were taken, money were on stakes, voices were high and filled the air. It was basically a dark room with this big projection screen and people singing loudly, seemingly enjoying themselves...

And theres Derrick who was like hogging the mike and screaming at everybody..And the host was busy answering phone calls. And everybody else...yea juz doing what they should be doing at parties.. lolx.

I was there at about 8 something and the room was quite full already.. Felt quite awkward at first...But Whitney was ushing me to get in and sit.. ... I'm soo damn happy now. .. everybody was singing together. So yeah, I partied and drank and ate ( but not much ) and gambled and sang and took pictures and practically went nuts. Basically many many things that makes a girl like me happy happened. LOLX. haha. Then Derrick got drunk ...Well he didn't actually got drunk, juz acting like one........ He was like mumbling to himself....and screaming at everybody. He was like the life of the party......Being awesoe and al... Then the party ended and everybody went home.....
So I went home and ate maggi mee.. Sorry Whitney..( the buffet didn't work out) X )
haha...Whitney, I have never been so happy!!!!!!
Hoped you enjoyed things after the party yourself..haha....
Oh ya before i forget.....

Happy sweet sixteen Leanne !!!!!
You were so red..lols

Saturday, April 19, 2008

I know you're there, but do you know I'm here

Did something wrong and sinful but i will NEVER attempt do it again.

Yesterday was Jaz's birthday, we ( ky, whitney, hao min, yinky, and me) bought him cuppacakes from wondermilk. If you're lucky to try's awesome... Anyways, we splashed him with gallons of water after skool. XD hope you enjoyed it!!! HAPPY SWEET SIXTEENTH BIRTHDAY!!!!!

Being quite happy and high these few days because something that has never occured to me happened. And somehow I fell much lightheaded and happier. I look forward to it everyday when I wake up and open my eyes. Whitney finally knows about it and Yinky too so i won't have to be so guiltily hiding it from them anymore. Whitney, please don't tell. =) Never felt happier before. Now I know how is it like. The little things I could ever do and those thoughts around. Its just so wonderful. And, he happens to play it my way too.. haha. I'm so happy and i will say it again. I'M SO HAPPIEE. Tonight is Whitney's birthday bash. Can't wait to go. Tonight is going to be the best night ever... By the way, I found RM 50 on the way to McD.. Hahahaha

=) Though you may be with someone else, knowing you is a blessing for me.

Wednesday, April 16, 2008

Didn't expect what it was suppose to be

I love the song stranger by hilary duff..

Yesterday there was lightning and thunder... the electricity terputus like 5 times. In the end, my mum just ask us to leave the lights off and light the candles....A candlelight dinner...interesting.
Went with KY to ou after school today and yea, going out with her was do you put it interesting. Had lunch at ou then went to OSC or so its called and met up with some other interesting people.. I'm shocked with what I saw. Really I am. And I felt afraid because for once I was with them. I don't whether what I'm doing was right or wrong, or even what I was about to do. Now I only understood what little mishaps in life can lead to. Am I willing to take the risk of what others had once done. Will I be able to control myself once it starts taking over. I wish I knew how. Slowly, I'm being pulled down with them. I must stay strong. Or at least I must. Now the question haunts me. Should I go with them? Or should I stay where I am standing now.
How far will I go for him. How deep will I fall just for him. Is he worth it?? I dont know anymore.

Saturday, April 12, 2008

Small and insignificant

I don't know what or how these days.. it's just soo boring... I don't know what I feel anymore.. whether its true or not. I can't be sure of myself. Losing control over what I once dominated. Things don't stay true anymore do they. They don't show but confuse you over things you have never thought of. I'm lost in my own world. So lost. Will it ever come true to me someday, cuz I just can't wait no longer.

I feel like a fool over something I thought would never ever occur to me.

Tuesday, April 8, 2008

Bittersweet Angel

Being bitter about it yet sweet at the same time. The envy I felt all the time can't even measure up to all the times I felt so happy in my life. I wanna fight for it but i just can't stand being pushed down and down. I can't stand rejection at all. Maybe thats why I just can't let myself get closer to anyone. It hurts. I envy too much, compared too much, complained too much...and yet not seeing the wonderful things I have with me right now. I have good friends I hang about with, I'm having the time of my life being with people I feel free with. I'm happy with the people who makes me more confident in myself and not pushing me down in a nice manner. I'm getting so sick of myself being so low all the time. Its about time I be a little more daring. And stand up for what I want to. It's finally about time I stop thinking so lowly of myself and step up a little higher. yes some people are born luckier than me, good looks, great personality...... but I just realized today that there is a small flaw in everybody that I have never noticed because I was soo busy envying them. That little flaw is what makes us all human. And I have to learn to be happy and stay with that little flaw of mine.
Btw, a little message to Whitney: I dare not sleep alone anymore. I keep asking my sister to sleep with me...hahaa. So scared. Great imagination I have don't I. =)
haih..back on todayyy,.....the pengetua has finally gone over her head. Our school's wonderful annual event has finally changed. From night to afternoon on a weekday ( Thursday) from 2 to 5. There will only be one or two modern dance performance and everybody is fighting for it. Pengetua as I would like to refer as the green goldfish, is stupid and reallt pathetic, thinking of all the lame excuses like caring for our safety. bloody hell. what is her freakin problem...damn it. Then what else is in that small mind of hers...arranging bus for us to get there after school wearing school uniform?? hahaa.. how much more creative can she can get...
heehee...I'm getting a hunch

Saturday, April 5, 2008

I'll give it one more try

I'm soo happiee lately hahaa.. you know why?? well I think i will rather like to keep that to myself though. Me and my little thoughts. So if you see me laughing discreetly to myself, I'm not crazy yet kayy. I'm just enveloping myself in what I would like to think about. can be so unpredictable. I'm proud to say that I have encountered a feeling that I have never felt before, and through that I have never felt more happier in my sad sad life. =) haih. Wanna know what I was feeling..well I told you that I rather keep them to myself..hehee. If what I dreamed would just happen then my life would be so perfect. But hahaa, i know that it will never ever happen to me. Though I know deep within myself that what ever that occurs involve what I think then i am content already. haih, life's little things can really get to me. It's true i'm sentimental. Well that is what according to some astrologists say. Leos can be very sentimental.
I guess that explains me alot. =) well. Tonight is Euphoria concert and I'm not going cuz I rather envelope myself in my thoughts that i love so much to think about... XD Who says I can't dream.

Cute?? me and my sis on my 7th birthday..lols