Sunday, January 31, 2010

Your love is a symphony, all around me

I'm bored I'm bored I'm bored.
Its a holiday tomorrow and I can't wait to get back to college.
Semester exams are coming up soon !!
Hanged out with Wen again , assisting her in completing her formal uniform.
Banyak thanks to moi !
Bought new year stuff (I'm broke and that rarely happens) and walked round for a bit.
Failed to watch tooth fairy though. But avatar and sherlock holmes was awesome.

Moral lecturer was crazy. She showed us how people make kucing nasi lemak.
Like literally made out of cat's meat. And she said it was a warm up for what was coming next.
Then.... BOOM !!! She shows us abortion videos.
I can't tell you how gory it was cause I closed my eyes the whole time.
But the student's response was incredible.
There were people screaming and then it was silent. "monsters!"
I would never understand how anyone can become a surgeon.

Anyways, moral role play was fun fun fun.
It was funny, and obscene and there were foul words.
So much for moral class. Hahaa. I had fun. :D

The weather is getting to Tan Ying's brain. She better not start eating kangalalalaloos.

Taa for now.

Wednesday, January 27, 2010

Yes, I know that I should forget. But I don't understand why I can't. Sometimes this facade I put up tires me and it drains me dry. The memory still haunts me, eventhough the amount of homework distracts me from time to time. But whenever I'm alone, it still brings me back again. It hurts so much and the pain never cease to end. It's like standing in burning flames, trying to get out of it but I can't. I want to forget it so badly, because I don't know how much longer I can cope. I'd take a thousand blades and be happy, because this fire never goes away. I am still finding a way to cope, to banish this pain once and for all. To finally move on to chasing something worth searching for. I will find my way again, out of this mess, out of this insanity that I seem to be enclosed in. I will find my way, I hope.

Sunday, January 24, 2010

Everyday is a start of something beautiful, something real

In the end the words won't matter, cause in the end nothing stays the same
And in the end, dreams just scatter and fall like rain.
I kept falling over
I kept looking back
I went broke believing that the simple should be hard

A big Happy 18th birthday to KAREN !!!!
Went out to celebrate her birthday at Fridays. Usual stuff, good food and good company.
Pictures will be posted up soon! :)
smiles to the people who puts my worries and my pain behind me.

Tuesday, January 19, 2010

damn the heart at stake it burns
that face in memory, the soul still yearns
to withhold this downfall, the heart will learn
and here it stands, willing the past to return

to hold this face within my reach
they mock my pain, to them I beseech
no longer alone, this world that still stands
the columns that hold, tumbles and bends

the ruins that fall and crumble in dust
untimed in existence, the play is cast
the masks that hides this lonely face
shall leave this dark night with fine grace

Monday, January 18, 2010

Why does the fairy tales always end with the beautiful princess and the prince?
Instead of the prince with a common girl who had a beautiful soul?
Of course, the story wouldn't go right if the prince doesn't marry his princess.
But has anyone ever wondered if the prince has ever fell in love with another besides the most beautiful girl at the ball?
He must be blind to only see what lies infront of him.
Stupid prince.

Sunday, January 17, 2010

He ate my heart

I had a dream. And when I woke up, it filled me with some sort of longing.
And that longing hurts. It was like bringing out something that was being buried a long tine ago.

I have no idea what to make of the dream.
I don't now who he was, and I couldn't make out a face.
But I have this sudden yearning to look for that face, and to see it again one more time.
Of course it was only a dream and it could mean anything.

Though the face leaves me and the dream fades, the longing still lingers within me.

Saturday, January 16, 2010

I am feeling overwhelmed by all the different spectre of feelings that I can't name


I have just came out of 3 days of college.
Am barely alive now... no, just kidding.

First day was freakin scary.
I was lonely and scared out of my life.
Everything was new and different... and cold. hahaa...

Anyway, things start to settle down and I've made new friends.
So life is as it should be now. Exams are coming up soon!

Accounts is boring. As the lecturers have put it.
Econs was weird. The teacher has a very ineteresting voice. :)
Legal studies was okay. Except the part where the lecturer was a little fierce.
We get to play court and talk about gay marriages in Australia.
English is gonna be tough. Enough said.
Maths... So much for running away from add maths in high school. =(

So that's about sums it up.
By the way, if you want her number... stop being a sissy and just ask her for it.
I don't understand the infatuation you have for her.
And I never will.
You can keep your horse face to yourself!

Tuesday, January 12, 2010

I still like how the puzzle pieces fit together to shape the apple

Monday, January 11, 2010

I saw you at a bus stop today and I smiled.

Today was well... let's put it this way. Interesting.
Sitting the bus definitely has its many advantages. :)
A car isn't necessary at all.
All hail the ever amazing bus.

But here's how my adventures start today:

Arrived at 1u at 6.45 in the morning. Ready to board the rapidkl bus at 1u.
Paid driver money and sat down .
Wenyi had problem pronouncing canada.

Approximately 45 minutes later, got down bus on jalan semantan opposite help college.
Walked across the bridge to the other rapidkl bus stand.
Saw a certain someone familiar heading to help on bus too!

Waited at stand for 45 minutes, at the point of going berserk.
We even called rapidkl to ask if the bus was coming today.

Got up bus after the insanely long wait, and the constant stares by the people with cars.
Paid the driver and stood at the door.
Got really squished and had to stand at door because bus was full.
Wenyi had to get up and down the bus so that passengers could get down the bus.

Reached somewhere in hartamas.
Panic because we don't know where to stop.
Saw Hartamas shopping mall and immediately got down.

Went looking for Taylors after we went to the washroom. :)
Toured up and down Taylors and went to shopping mall for breakfast.
The only shop opened then was a market.

After being starved in the bus for 2 loooooong hours, grabbed maggi me in cup and went to hunt for hot water.
Had to spend 12 bucks for a cup of coffee to get hot water.
Caramel coffee in Coffee Bean was nice. :)
Sneaked out the cafe but still within the premises, we hid in one corner to eat maggi mee.
Had to sneakily eat the maggi cause we're afraid we might get shooed.

Ate our fill and walked to bus stop to wait for bus.
Bus came and driver shooed us out because he was going for his break.

Walked back to shopping centre and walked round aimlessly.
Shops were still closed. It was boring.
Walked the entire mall 3 times. THREE TIMES
Went back to bus stop and waited for driver.

Driver was kind enough to signal us to get on the bus at the opposite end of the road.
Almost got killed by flying cars.

Paid driver, sat down and got back to jalan semantan.
Walked over the bridge again and waited for bus to go back.

Finally reached 1u at bout 12 something and went to watch movie.
Sherlock Holmes was awesome by the way.

Ate a truck load of stuff.
And finally went home. :)

Sunday, January 10, 2010

I wanna rip this heart out of me

Why hasn't it stop yet? This suffering weight that is hanging above me, crushing me as it drops.
Why hasn't it go away? The bleak days that turns the whole world hazy and grey.
Why hasn't it let go? These vague questions that chases me, stalking me.

How many times have I ever told myself that everything is over, and that my days would seem a little better soon. I thought my light would return and I wouldn't have to see him to smile again. Life always move on, despite the fierce yearning for it to stop so I can heal myself.
Because holding on has scarred me deep.

But I can't stop.
I can't stop this sudden feeling of my throat being stuck. And I can't breathe.
I can't stop feeling betrayed and robbed of my one light, my only hope.

The broken glass pieces are swept away. But it still does not take away the pain.
It does not take away the scars left behind.

I'll still try to be strong.
because he's not the only reason for my existance

Thursday, January 7, 2010

No one does it right like you do

I watched one whole season of The Vampire Diaries in one day
Because I was bored.
I fell in love with Elena's leather jacket.
And I'm getting myself one too.

I love Ian Somerhalder. :)
Just so you know, he's Damon. The dark, evil, mysterious brother.

And I read new moon and eclipse again for the time.
Am gonna go read breaking dawn now. again....
I honestly should be very sick of that book.
But I still love it. No contradictions there.

I shall see you soon!

last night i fell in love without you
i waved goodbye to that heart of mine
beating solo on your lawn

Tuesday, January 5, 2010

There's no such thing as fate.
There's no such thing as destiny either.
There's no such thing as coincidence.
And no such thing as magic.

Because the heart can't beat again. The way it used to before.
The heart can't lie to what wasn't real before.

Hello sunshine!

Its just me, a whole new year, and my much beloved friends.

You guys are insanely awesome.

Friday, January 1, 2010

Another new path for you to walk, and I will make the detour. So here we bid goodbye

Had a new year bbq at Karen's place on New Year's Eve.
Was a hell of a long day I can assure you that.
There was the long fight and the crying that happened the whole morning.
And the anger that rages among us was harsh and unforgiving.

But in the end, mum decided that I should go out and spend time with friends.
And so... I did.

It was a great evening, and most of the people who went to penang were there.
We barbecued, and talked and laughed.
A dog called maru shitted all over Karen's house. We were laughing like mad.
Then there's out maid, Maria. Hahaa.
Two maids actually. You know who you are. :)

Wanted to go to curve but decided against it because it was too crowded.
It was truly an interesting evening I assure you.
But then again, I am gonna miss you guys so so much.

Will post pictures up soon. *I'm feel like as if I'm blogging for myself*
See ya soon peeps.

How can a much mangled heart still beat slower and faster at the same time?

Am watching "orphan" while doing my nails.
Its all jittery now.

You walked back into my life, the way you walked out, abruptly.

Thank you people for giving me a wonderful evening. So much for the last day of my 17th year. I am 18 now, which practically spells freedom for me. :) Happy new year people! Have a great one as always.