Saturday, June 7, 2008

So much for closure

I'm angry and guilty and feeling lowly of myself!!!!! Am I not the one who tried to help and despite the gossips of others I refused to listen and a small wish you grant me was.... hurting me deeper.. I bet it was all about me. Now the guilt is building beneath and I probably will stay awake the whole night burying myself in the thing I never did thought you would do. Did I make you feel that bad, was it really me who caused unnecessary emotions? I don't know, you tell me. I thought you were good, and wholesome all by yourself. You were someone I could be with and share everything and be comfortable with. It seems that I am wrong. I don't know what to do anymore. I'm sorry you couldn't spend time with people you want to be with. I'm selfish and I care about the awkwardness that might reoccur once again. I'm sorry I made you feel hurt and that someone had to know about it and tell someone else. And now that someone else told me what I didn't know and didn't expect would happen. Was it because I was that upset. No I wasn't upset, I was disappointed. Did you tell someone else about it? And now, I'll bet that person will think lowly of me now. I feel guilty you know. And I don't know if I should feel that way because I shouldn't be. Did you lie to me all this time about everything? So much for everything you put up with and everything I had to go through. Why couldn't you be honest with me? Just tell me if you don't feel uncomfortable. I'll back off. You know what, I will lay it off now. I won't go to near you anymore. I guess being too close to a friend isn't that good either. It always turns out the other way around. So yeah, while you have a good night's sleep recupurating or whatever, I don't know.... I'll be here feeling guilty and regretful . Don't feel bad, there's a reason too everything rite??

When will it be the time again,

To be with you until the end.

And cast away all feelings of sorrow,

To walk through another tomorrow.

I just want it to be like last time where I had no worries and care about having tons of laughter.

I can't even say anything out loud because I want to protect you and yet I cannot hide it all inside anymore.

I want to cry it out but I can't because feelings off guilt just overpower the feelings of sorrow.

But I will to let you know, that I feel as low as you are.

Theres so much to be said and yet I can't.

you've made me go through a sorrow that I have never felt for so long

No comments: