Saturday, May 3, 2008

I don't know how I feel anymore

I'm being so unsure of myself, not knowing which path is right. I've spoken things that I thought could hold onto. Words that I thought would keep me safe and stop me from doing it all over again. It won't be right, would it, to hurt so many people. I've stood solidly on my ground so far and I'm still standing. But the question is, how long can I stand?? I have my reasons to doubt myself and everything around me. I am what I am on the outside and that is a fact that I can never change. That small, insifnificant me. In this world full of rage and lies, I will somehow cope and learn to improve myself a little better. I close my eyes and try to shut everything from me, to see what lies true beneath everything. In this small bubble of mine, I hear whispers all around , somehow giving me faith to strive and thrive again. I know that what matters may not be, but a try will worth it in a way. So, I sit down and pray, head up high staring at the sky outside, praying hard all will go well for me. And that no matter what I do, right or wrong, someone will be there for me , watching me and guiding me.. It may hurt a little now then, but the end will worth the pain inflicted. Every slash and bruise on the very skin of my soul will have a meaning in one way or another. So I will go on and keep moving forward, but sometimes , stop awhile and look behind me.

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