Crushed

Crushed, not by love or hatred. But by the anger that wells up in me. the broken heart inside this family. How long will I still be able to cope living like this eventhough I keep thinking that I'm one of those luckiest girls alive. No, I'm not. Everything is ruined, my birthday and the joyful mood I was in. I'm so angry at everything and I can't see things clearly. Anger blurs my vision and obscure my sight and I'm not able to tell whats right. Everything is just not right. Why can't I just live for once without deals and terms and conditions. Sure, there will be limits to what I do but with so many deals to keep??? I don't know if I can cope. But I think I still can hold on. It won't last long but at least I'm holding on.....