day 14 and day 15

Day 14 is Monday.

Worked alone at the Arshak section. was a super super horrible day. got told off a few times throughout the day. And when I was angry at myself and realized that my mum was not here, I cried.

It was my first time feeling really homesick since I came here.

As for day 15. Which would be today.

Just got back from Queensbay Mall after watching Great Days. Very uber funny and depressing show.

Have been feeling a little bit lonely now. And my heart is sick of being alone, and always having to take care of myself. I hate them for doing this to me. For causing me to feel sudden emptiness and helplessness. The black hole of something that is missing in me.

With no one to hold me when I cry and tell me its all right, to run to me and tell me everything will be alright. No shoulders to cry on, no back to hide my face behind, and no one to wipe my tears away. Its just me and me alone against everything else.

I wanna run far far away, and cry out loud.

To just scream in the wind. And hear my voice screaming back at me.

I want to hide.