Thursday, March 11, 2010

I'm sad and disappointed in myself.
I could care less how much my mum or dad is angry with me,
because my hate towards myself tops it all off.
Do not ask me anymore. I don't really understand what to do at this point.

Is it what I deserve? That question still rages inside of me.
I think I deserve better. I really really do.
All the effort I've placed in towards this.

Its unfair. It really is.

I've never felt so more pathetic than I already am.
Is there not a purpose for my existence now?

I could never comprehend. never

how many times would i have to cry today.
how many time would the tears still fall.
the pain is killing me, and do i still have to apologise?

there is this saw, gnawing through my heart. the pain is numbed.
and my chest felt like being pressed on.

but here's the thing.
I am crying every two hours, thinking why is this happening.
Angry because I don't have to apologise to anyone but myself.
Its a fuckin tough day. And I had enough.

to hell with the people who keeps asking me to move on
and to hell with those who tries to tell me its alright
because it fuckin isnt

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