Friday, May 21, 2010

Papa don't preach, I've been losing sleep

I don't know whats right anymore.
Sometimes when I think that everything will be alright, it's not.
I'm just lying to myself.

I thought things were going so smoothly.
Everything was right in their place.
The world finally came to its senses or something, for me at least.
I know its selfish of me.
But with all the whirlwind events happening around me, I'm lost in my own surroundings.
I suddenly feel lost in everything that once felt so familiar to me.

I feel all broken up inside. All torned and bloody and messed up.
Blaring up the music, trying to numb out everything.
Trying to hard to find some place to escape.
Some form of sanctuary to rest my weary head.
I slept a dreamless sleep, doused in unconsciousness and rage.
And then when I wake up, everything comes back to me all at once.
Like being thrown at a thousand times.
The present comes rushing to me at a kind of ghostly speed.

I've never felt so fearful and frightened.
So greatly lost in darkness, and bright lights.
Consumed by fear, joy, and rage all at once.

yes, its this irate feeling that conquers the rest.

And I miss the old times, the part where everything was just a dull grey.
A sudden blur and constant moving time.
Although I am a thousand times grateful to finally be here, I just want to turn back time.
At least just for a while.
Until I feel better again.

My friends are all so far away and distant.
So caught up in their own lives.
I could feel lonely then. But I'll try.

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