Another heart calls out for you

This is worth watching.
Really talented people.
Who says the violin is for sissies.

Believe in me, this life's not always what it seems

People who fail will have the potential of being rich and famous one day.
Don't underestimate their power.

Teacher's day yesterday and Whitney who was suppose to be there did not turn up and Hao Min too. I was the only girl there besides Mei Yin.
Sheesh, thank God for Juat Lee, if not I'll probably bore my skulls off.

Indians can really dance don't they. Hahaa.
They had a performance yesterday and we were practically laughing our heads off when we saw how she dance. Yin Wei said she does not wear a wired bra.
Personally , I think she did not wear a bra at all. :)

The malay dance was okay I guess. They looked like they were frying currypuffs at first.
Then, Yin Yin sang the greatest love of all.
She can sing but I don't think the song really suited her. Poor thing.
She must have thought we were clapping for her when we were really clapping at the two crows kissing behind us.
Yea, so basically we people prefer to watch animals make out rather than watching someone else singing.

Th teachers played musical chairs as usual.
And Jothi won. OMG.
Yes, she was impossible to miss cuz she was wearing this really really white sari.

Gambled with Juat Lee and Chern Yao. *gasps*
And practically wasted half of my day listening to the blasting music from Derrick's amplifier and Playing cards.
Gwen is not good at choi dai di. Will be practicing alot on it. Watch out people.
Surprisingly, Derrick can make a really good potato salad. :)

That somehow sums up my day at school.
Oh, then at Terry's. We had waffles while watching this preview program of edumind.
May consider joining the program.
The guy in Britain's got talent really touched my heart.
When he sang everybody was silent. Stunned.
Who would've thought about that.
Prejudicement... Tsk Tsk....

Gwen can smell strawberry and blueberry from a mile away.
Hahaa.
Leaving for Penang this afternoon.
Will be back by Monday.
See ya toots.

Will still wait

I am a little addicted to listening to those sad chinese songs.
I think their much much better than english love songs.
The chinese makes them more meaningful.
Yes, will appreciate chinese language more now.
Me love me love.

Am feeling a little under the weather now.
Gwen slept till 10 this morning.
Its been awhile since I could sleep undisturbed.
Though I did wake up this morning at 6 without the alarm clock ringing.
I guess I got too used to waking up that early. :)

Can't wait to go back to Penang, though I'll only be there for one day.

It would be good enough to get away from school and workbooks for awhile.
And I think it should be good for me, to get away from you for awhile.
So I could finally think clearly.
And finally think about what I should be doing besides missing your presence.
I could not be too careful from now on.
These thoughts are my own.




Sometimes we have to realise that life does not always go the way you want it to.

Ta hai shi bu zai

Ambiguity wrongs people,
Unable to find the evidence of love
When will be the time to move forward
And when should it be the time to give up
Even the courage standing there before is gone

I am only able to accompany you until here,
After all there are some things that cannot be done
They are beyond friendship
But unreaching the stage to love
The distant scenery of the coming rain
And in the end, should I sober?
Is it me or you
That has thought too much?
I am unconvinced
And I start to doubt
Whether the person infront of me is the same real you

Ambiguity wrongs people,
Unable to find the evidence of love
When will be the time to move forward
And when should it be the time to give up
Even the courage standing there before is gone

Ambiguity makes people greedy,
Until the endless waiting becomes meaningless.
It is without doubt that you and I cannot write out an ending.
Let the beauty of living in regret, stop here.

I would want the world for you

Hello.
Gwen is back from her almost one month exam holiday.
Yay!
No more sleepless nights thinking about exams.
Although maybe I'm still stuck thinking about results.

Anyway, came back from my shopping spree at 1u.
It's been a while since I was there.
Not used to the large amount of time dangling at my fingertips.
My legs ache but I'm happy.

Happy happy happy I tell you.
Will put my worries aside for just these two weeks.
Teacher's day celebration on Friday.
See you then!

I think I've realised throughout this whole time, I wasn't in love with you.
But I was in love with the memories you've left for me to linger on.
We had not share anything but laughters and silent jokes we kid on.
So who am I kidding to think that there was something between us.
Because obviously, there wasn't any at all.
Though we shared more than one thing in common, I guess its not special, nor is it out of the ordinary to share precocious habits.
But it is after all, in my own thoughts that I have created this whole different story to tell.
Maybe, just maybe... I wanted something I know I could never have.

she wears short skirts, i wear t-shirts
she's cheer captain, and i'm on the bleachers
thinking bout the days where you wake up and find
that what you're looking for has been here the whole time

if you could see that i'm the one who understands you
been here all along so why can't you see?

Scribble out the truth with their lies

Hello world.
I am back again.
And I am doing my add maths project. :)

English is on Monday.
At least thats a breather from add maths on tuesday and wednesday.
OMG.
Its coming soon.
PANIC.

There are no boundaries

I am so so so screwed for chem.
Mum took me out to Giordano to buy a new pair of jeans.
Now I feel bad. Eesh.

Anyway, I have good news.
Well, maybe for myself only.
Gwen did not kena NS.
Muahahaha

Did you hear me.

I AM NOT CHOSEN FOR NS.
Life suddenly seems a lot more happier.
Well not exactly not chosen.
But there's three category.
One down, two more to go.
Please please, don't pick me for NS.

I am in love with Adam Lambert's voice.
I wish he should have won.
I would have much preferred him to win.
Just because he is fucking gay, people discriminate against him.
But why does anyone care anyway, all we hear is his voices not his gay.
Sheesh.
I fucking hate those people who said he didn't deserve to win because he is gay.
And the screaming IS part of his style.
Sheesh... again.

Love, is the answer to which question?

Its late and early at the same time. And the guy behind my house is turning on his air-cond at full blast and all you can hear is brrr brrr sound. There's modern maths tomorrow. I'm dead. The scary subjects are over except for add maths, which is the worst of all.

Fortunately, I am still alive and hope would remain that way until wednesday.

Looking forward to going back to penang next saturday. Its my elevator cousin's wedding. You don't want to know why I call him that because it would be an entirely different story then.

And a happy birthday to wong seng, which at this hour would be yesterday.
That would be four more sleepless nights if you please.

Let it stay, be it this way

I don't know what you're thoughts are but the fact that I know what I want makes all the difference.

Sejarah nearly drove me crazy this morning. And there's physics paper 3 tomorrow. I am so screwed. Oh, never forget chinese too! Mr Long is giving back chem paper on friday, or so he says.
Midterms are so screwed. Mr Alex definately has a thing for setting malay papers.

You are like a star I can only look at from afar.

I can't quite explain how this should go. I'm three trying to figure out everything over again. You were always there on my mind, but I could never know what you are thinking. To only get a glimpse from a distance, and to be close but not as close to knowing you'll always be close by. Wondering who she is, the girl whose life I could never have. Is it so hard trying to understand? Because you could never feel the yearning I have for you. To you, I guess there's no need to know. Because I am not her, and never will be. But just so you know, I'm still trying to let go. I can't wait forever, trying to understand what you're thinking. It wears me out sometimes. And I can't redem to sleep at night, because I'm here tryingo to figure out your thoughts. I'm always saying the sane things again and again, there's nothing else to say isn't it? Because everything always seem to be about you. And now, my perspective is bending towards my will, and I will start deluding myself about something that never hid any other meaning. There delusions will hurt me even more, because somehow I know they where never real. And I'm still convincing myself this is still reality.

Soft kisses and wine

Maybe just one day, I'd be able to write my name next to yours.

Just like a star in the sky

Card I made on mama's day.
Never got round to putting it up.
But here it is anyway. :)

Chinese tuition was freaky funny yesterday.
Teacher said we are quite relaxed for a student who is sitting for mid-year.
Laughed alot.

Especially with Yue Qi around.
Hahaaa....
Anyways, attending a seminar later on study smart.
Should be interesting.
Back to studying now.
Toodle doos.

Sshh.. over here.
If you did manage to read my blog.
I have sejarah tips to share.
:)

The next thousand suns that passed

untouched by time, unfound by light
the minutes that took on this great flight
i wish i may, i wish i might
just make a wish like this tonight

these profound thoughts as they soar
a little higher, a little more
hunger devours the heart that bore
lying dreams and hopes that tore

stay here awhile, sit and wait
secrets imbowers upon our fate
ungiven, unsought, this life you take

and will the pouring of secrets you make

this silence holds on, unmoving and still
time still shudders with dreams unreal

I'll stop deluding myself.
I promise.

My mid-terms are so screwed.
My add-maths is screwed.
Will definately try not to emo over the competition.
I knew it was impossible.
But I thought I had a chance anyway. :)
So there, I've gave it my best shot.

There's chinese on monday. *gasps*
There's chem paper 3 on monday. *gasps even louder*
Gwen is having a very very bad headache.

A sense of nostalgia

While studying half way, Gwen has resorted to vandalising her own phone by writing crazy stuff down. Its 1 in the morning and who would be sane at this moment. Anyway, I really miss those few weeks of fun. I really miss dancing with everybody and gossiping with my peers. Its been so long already. It war truly one of the cert holidays I've ever spent. Having sleepovers with 10 other girls and a guy was something else. Moving on, I've got to snap out of it and start reading chemical equations. Stupid stupid equations and their esterification. Sighs. I'm definately going insane.

Pish-posh; Drip-drop

Please stop asking about my fringe. Its okay to pin it up right. Its very VERY normal.

Bio - screwed
Physics - screwed
Chemistry?? - You don't want to know

Please please don't laugh when I look lala tomorrow.
Out of frustration, I accidentally cut my frindge.
And now... ... I am going to die of embarassment.
Oh crap.

What is on your mind?

There is a Christian Louboutin. It's like this super famous shoe designer, and nobody knows him? What a sad sad thought. Yinky you should go check on his official website. In fact, all those who knows about jimmy choo but not christian louboutin should go and check out his collection of shoes. :) Their really really pretty shoes.

Just as same but a little bit different

"There will be a thousand suns crossing a thousand skies and a thousand clocks ticking away with time but I'll still be here waiting for that thousand months and thousand days until you are mine" -gwen-

Beautiful you are

Happy wesak day to all. And Happy mother's day to all mothers including my own. And to my cousin who has just recently gave birth. Amber is awesome. Not that she had done anything yet besides crying and sleeping. But she's cute enough. This laptop is not working as it should so I will just have to make use of it. Anyway, I walked 8 km today. Following the wesak float procession with a bunch of lala chai. Seriously wen I'm not kidding. They were all carrying the dragon and kept acting yeng.... So, now I'm here with two half broken legs, blogging when exams are on Tuesday. sighs. Saw Khai Shen with his KLCC CEO aunty taking pictures of the float. Yes, he did add that in. I'll pot up pictures soon kay, when the I can use back my com and exams are over... I think I could hold on that long, without the net. I'm dead, I really am. Gwen will be at school tomorrow with bloodshot eyes and humongously large eye bags that can actually fit 5 text books inside. Yes, obviously I'm exagerating. Okay, I shall stop crapping further here. Though I would rather do that than study bio all over again. Then theres physics and chem. ARGH!

Prelude to a kiss

Never never ever use Meebo, even its the last instant messenger on earth.
Sorry people who got spammed by "me".
But seriously it wasn't me.
It was meebo.
Just ignore the thing when it comes okay.
I'm changing my messenger soon. =]

My love for you is unceasing as life grows weary with age

Form ones have certainly made themselves a good show.
Wen, the next time she ever touches you, say: I don't want to know why are you touching me.
Hahaa. Safety purposes her butt. Their a little crazy and you know that.

Add maths exams are so screwed.
Wait, I'm screwed.
Physics paper is first, followed on by chemistry then biology.
Study woman, study!!!

Time would not matter then

As I try to close these pages of unsaid words,
with it I try to seal away these broken thoughts.

Because reality is still real,
and I still have to go through each and every moment that goes by.
With there words, would only be the proof;
the very last remaining fragment of memory left behind.

Telling me, that this had came before.
And the fraying hole in me was real too.

This reminds me of you

Zubaidah officially hates us now.
But I've been a good girl.
Well, only I know that.
mid terms, mid terms, mid terms....

Who she was, what she is,
just ceases to matter now.
Because I could not read your mind,
Because I was left not knowing whether you knew who I was,
Because I'm alone here to decipher this seemingly complicated mind of yours.

This hope starts to fade each day
As I realised that some things just weren't meant to be.
And the more I wish that I was her,
the yearning becomes increasingly addictive.
Because I was addicted to your presence,
but all the while
you were thinking of someone else

I'm still here
staring from afar,
wondering if this was too much to bear.

And if only time would just drift on and let me
forget this painful yearning
for you.

So these words are being left forsaken
as I watch this once raging hope,
slowly fades away
to nothingness.

Went to 1u with Wen Dee for some present shopping just now.
Walked up and down for stuff.
She can be really fussy for a present buyer. :)
Most people would probably just buy it for the sake of buying it.
We were at Topaz to buy the tribal band thingi for her friend and then...

*dum dum dum*

I saw this ring with a silver butterfly encrusted upon it......

Gwen was in love.
And it fitted her finger perfectly.
Too bad she didn't have the money.
Nor did she have a special reason to buy it.
So she left the ring under the glass drawer hoping nobody will buy it..
Until she comes back to get it. :)

But... if you really are looking for something to please me.
This is your chance. *hint hint*
Although Wen Dee did say that I should just hint to this very very VERY generous person.
And she wasn't THAT generous after all.
*sighs*

Vienna bagels are goood.

Whitney, cheer up okayy.
Smile yo.
He'll come around.

An insolence of demeanor

Midsummer's first light
gently touches
upon the dawning horizon,
illuminating sparkles


You can't play on broken strings
You can't feel anything
That your heart don't want to feel
I can't tell you something that ain't real.
The truth hurts
and lies worse
How can I give more

So much for prom.
Tickets are out people.
Go check it out. :)

I'm currently on the second chapter of sejarah notes.
I'm dead.
He's gonna wring the air out of me.

*shrieks!*
See, procrastination will do you no good.
Mid-terms are next week.
*shrieks*... again.
Then *faints* .

These fading memories of mine are turning into dreams

I have completed my moral project.
Well fine not entirely.
I am still here dawdling when mid terms are like a week away.
Maybe I really really need that big reality slap on my face.
sighs
Gwen is STILL not lala.
Its not everyday some lala dude looks this hot.
He's korean by the way.
And lalas are chinese. So there!
:)

Just finished practice sessions with the peeps.
It sounds better so far.
Auditions are postponed I think, to after the holidays.
So good luck people.

Everything is different now

Ronald Mcdonald gone emo style. =]
Or has he always been this way??

Was busy with moral project and all yesterday and then went for add maths tuition.
So much for labour day.
Pretty much completed every project given except for the upcoming add maths project.
And that is already provided.

Exams are coming.
Can't help reminding myself that.
I am still procrastinating and I think that I need a great big slap to wake me up.

To you,
First and foremost,
Happy one week anni ! :)
I have to tell you this,
although it might hurt, alot.
It has been a week already.
And I've tried for you because I believe in your persistence.
But I cannot keep lying to myself,
pretending something I don't believe in.
I don't love you.
And I don't feel the same way as you do.
I don't wanna live a lie,
though that would hurt a lot less for you.
But because your words are not mine to take.
And I hope that you understand.
I'm sorry.




"say it again, I wanna hear it"
"I have seen 15 pairs of eyes today,
but my day doesn't starts,
until I have looked into your eyes"