Wednesday, November 3, 2010

screw you

I’m tired of being so irate all the time. I tired of having no place to vent my rage, and all that I could do was run to a corner and cry. With no one to comfort. With no one to tell me its okay. Without a soul to tell me to chill.

fuck my life.

I hate her. I hate having to live with her. All those moments that I regret condemning her to hell, I take them all back. You can call me an evil bitch, or that I should go to hell. But I’d bring her along because I would never want her to unleash her wrath upon anyone else. Never. I would never ever want to wish anyone in my position now.

calm.calm.calm.calm.calm. its okay.

Its like a mantra to me now. I can’t concentrate on anything else without having to absorb her anger, absorb HER anger, and absorb his anger. All I do was absorb absorb absorb. Suck in everything.


I’d wish everything was different. I hate her. She started all this. I blame her and no one else. I won’t even vouch for her this time. There are some things that come with a limit and she has pushed way beyond that.

I hate my life. I hate the way I am. I don’t know whether I’m writing this to vent my anger or I’m just saying the things that I’ve been holding in for too long. I am so fucking tired of being pushed around like some kindergartener. Pushing and pushing and pushing.

fuck karma. I can’t wait for things to come around anymore. I’ll just have to speed things up.


I pity you because I know you don’t have to go through al these. I’m so so sorry.

I won’t think about it anymore. I’m going to bed.

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