Went to Oriental Pavilion to have dim sum with Uncle Kok Chong and Aunty Peng. Ate to almost about Rm190 bucks just on small titbits alone. Yes, I am shocked. But I had the most wonderful Tang Yuen in ginger soup with black sesame inside. Mmmmm.
Dad dropped me and sister off at Tropicana Mall to grab some stuff and went home late in the afternoon.
Anyway, daddy bought a Kenari for me to drive. The car will probably arrive on Tuesday or Wednesday. Then I can start driving. But mum does not allow me to drive to college till next year. I hate having transport problems.
Bought ribbons for college. I love ribbons ! They’re so magical !
I am tired of crying so often lately. I am tired of getting pissed off at my younger sister for not doing things she was suppose to. I a tired of getting angry at my mum for screwing me over the tiniest detail of things. And the worst part is, I can’t get angry. I cry my eyes out to numb the pain. And I cry to hide relieve myself of all these conflicting emotions roaring within me. I am confused, lost and so alone.
There is no one to talk to, no one to hear me out, no one to understand what have I become. Its becoming a habit for me, to evaluate myself every moment of the day. To think through whether I have changed, whether I have gone back to the same old me. Whether I was being punished for all those things that I have done. I wanna stop hurting myself so badly, I wanna stop doubting all my friends who were with me every single hour of the day. I wanna cease all these conflicting emotions within me, and I wanna hide my heart away.