These images were just the beginning

Amongst there images floating ahead
They tell the words of those unsaid
Come alive the night history creates
The lingering presence of passion made

In hollow cups filled with care
And chatters filled the silent air
Of shadows gliding here and there
Quietly they moved and stare

Drinked, danced upon the glittered floor,
To find whats hidden behind that door
Reach closer and stand before these eyes
When they take you in crumbling sighs

So close this distance cease to mattered
Closed upon there pages so tattered
To bring them back needed so much more
Pain never suffice to end this sore

There was all that I could muster up. I'm being drained. Didn't realize how much those little words and their simple meanings could hurt so much.

Computer was out for a few days. Will blog later about last week. =]

When life gets down too low, raise your spirits up

And so here I am... Worried for finals, and yet I could not put my head down to study what has been taught, and struggling hard to hold on to the knowledge needed to get out of here.

I ended up going to school yesterday, and guess who I saw... Joyce Ong!! Yeap, she was there for some questionnaire about mental health. Apparently she's studying psychology. Interesting subject. All the best kay!

Words cannot express the hurt I feel right now,

the way you move as though you couldn't care less for a thing in this world.

Maybe I should try to be like you....

No.Its too hard.

How can you fight the water currents when you can't even swim to resurface?

I still try to pull myself together and tell myself that everything will be alright.

But how can I lie when I know things aren't going to be okay?

I'm not everything, but I'm all there is to me.

What happened?

Love does not care for the ending, But for the journey

To be able to love, even if it is just once.

By just reminiscing the memories left behind from the journey;

in the end,

whether you could be with him or not

does not matter anymore.

Which part of the book was easily compared to life itself?

Why ohh why does the heart ceases to hurt so bad? Why does the time ticks away when you think that everything was in its place? Where have all the tales gone? And leaving us to be left upon cold sorrowful rocks.

"April is the cruellest month, breeding

Lilacs out of the dead land, mixing

Memory and desire, stirring

Dull roots with warm spring rain"

"What are the roots that clutch, what branches grow

Out of this stony rubbish? Son of man,

You cannot say, or guess, for you know only

A heap of broken images..."

" And I will show you something different from either

Your shadow at the morning striding behind you

Or your shadow at the evening rising to meet you "

"If I can stop one heart from breaking...

I shall not live in vain;

If I can ease one life the aching;

And easily ease my own,

Or cool one pain;

And cool mine alone,

Or help one fainting robin

unto his nest again,

I shall not live in vain"

I have so many things to blog about. So lets get started before this becomes a neverending blog. Last Friday was my mum's birthday as mentioned in my previous blog.. Gave her presents and cake. Can't really tell if she was ecstatic about it or not.. hahaa... But thats okay.
Anyways, Ying ying jie jie (cousin from penang ) brought her newborn baby to our house and stayed for the weekend. I can tell you taking care of a baby is a seriously full time job. I can never be a babysitter. This is Kenneth Goh. =] cute!

Hey you!!!*sticks tongue*

We went off to Mid Valley last saturday with Ying Ying, her son, and my other cousin (her brother) and his wife. A long list ehh. Mum came along too. Ate, shop, walk. Stopped by my cousin's wife's shop. Well, she doesn't really own the shop ( The Natural Source ) but sorts of manages it. Bought stuff there and went off again. Its been a really long time since I've been to Mid Valley. *sighs* had great fun with her son. He's really adorable in that baby-ish way. He is a baby after all. Then, on Sunday, we went off to ikea. Walked again, and shopped, doing what you can do at a shopping mall. She bought Kenneth a blue giraffe that sings. Hahaa. Okayy, it doesn't sing, it justs play music like a music box. He loved it so much he wouldn't let go of it. A blur giraffe with orange legs that sings. LOL. The cashier had to practically pry it out of his fingers to scan the item and he still didn't want to let go.
hahaa. Everyone was laughing when he did that. It was so cute!!! I think he went into hypertension. hahaa. His hands were shivering and hid his face behind his mum when we were taking pictures of him.

Kim's little red devil Ying Ying bought for her.

Do you have any idea what this is? Its a steamed fish lips... blueish in colour. hahaaa. They have like super think lips. My cousin went fishing (ying ying's brother) and caught the fish back. It was still moving.. ewe.

Mwah!

And the end of the day, moi

Pretty pretty flats from curve. =] Will never ever ever wear shoes one size smaller anymore. My feet hurt like hell. Mum had to stop by any random shoe shop to buy me a new pair of shoes. I ended up with this pair.

Yesterday tuition. Nobody knew about it. He just placed the chair there with this paper stuck onto it. Its really sheety cause I had to rush all the way from music class from school and to find out that theres no tuition. EEsh.

I want to go Loud concert!!!!!!

kenneth in action.

Ohh, he vomitted there. Poor thing, the place smelled of sour milk. He's still a baby after all. When you watch this, better put your speakers on low. He screams.

What would've happen if fate, time and hope were to be granted upon us?

Pretty? Yam's hair done by your truly. =]

Was I suppose to be happy about it?

Life is like this big question mark above my head.

Did the light had any oither meaning? To happen to mislead and revealed the old paved path that was hidden for so long now. Was the ground taking in every bit of happiness left of hope, seeping down within the black laden soil. The thick pungent smell of death shades the faint of hearts. And the cursed growth that erupts fromt below comes out into the light, reaching out to grab and pull in. Unnamed creatures appearfrom the unknown, bringing with it a creature of hideous form. Whose face would drown the happiest soul, whose skin wriggled with black thing of the damp. It writhes and twists to free it self from the chains that holds it on the ground. And only the weak and the coward would listen to its pure sweer poison that poured from those curled lips.

Have faith. For only faith can strengthen its bonds upon its twisted hands of rage.

Yet again, another metaphor of what I was trying to say.

Things can just be so queer some times, you never know what would happen next...

And you are just left there to wonder.

What are you trying to tell me?

I know, I know I'm lacking on pictures. But really truly, I'll try to update pictures kayy.

Mum's birthday is coming soon!!! Won't reveal her actual age for her sake. hahaa. Age is just a number... I remember someone saying that before. Its up to you to believe it or not.

School, school is the usual boring chitty-chatty day. Puan lee has decided not to leave us. Oh for heaven's can she just decide whether to retire or not. Okay fine, she has decided to stay. maybe its better for us students, if not we'll be exposed fully under the wrath of the pengetua. Yikes!!

Should I go to school tomorrow?? should I should I. Finals are here in two weeks. TWO WEEKS!! thats like 14 days away. OMG... I'm worried sick now. I can't sleep without thinking of add maths and sejarah. Then, theres physics and chemistry and all the stinkin salts we have to remember....blah blah blah...*drones on and on about bio* And Finally. *slaps herself* okayy okayy I'm awake and back to my senses.

I can't wait foe exams to be over. Seriously. I wish I wish I could attend the loud concert. Hopes mummy would allow. haih... Exams.. Future...* r.i.p*

When would i finally wake up and see the reality that was woven infront of me, instead of deluding myself with a world where I was a stranger. Could it be so hard, just to open my eyes and look. And watch the ground cease its shaking, and watch the black clouds go away as if they were a dream. I want to stop seeing creatures from the past that haunts me ever so often. Lifting their arms out, trying to catch me and bring me into their world of pain and sadness, and lost hopes, and unforgiven grudges.

Maybe I will just wake up someday, and everything would make sense to me. I would live my life as I should live it to be.

Unsure? yes, truthfully said

Sometimes when you set your heart to do something, you'll just go on doing it or stay in the game long enough to see yourself give up and fail. Somehow, things have to be one way or another. And not all the choices made were satisfying or even just enough. Was there even a fraction of that given choice that maybe I was illuded by happiness? I don't know. Was I able to take that step closer, that step that could have made all the difference now. That step which I wouldn't have regret not taking it now. I regret so much that I did not do it, eventhough I know I have already placed in endless efforts to try.

I've tried. I really have. How could you say that I have not. But what more could you still want?
I am of but one person only, and the endless things I could have done has its line to draw too. I don't know what could just have been, maybe it wouldn't work? And yet, still another puzzling end I did not take to reach there.

I'm left to stare at the empty screen, just pondering over what could have just happen? Was all good things so sacrificial? Do they need the absence of one good thing before they could create another?