Wednesday, July 6, 2011

Orientation at The Westin KL

an update after 3 days of orientation at the Westin KL.

Orientation was one word. boring.
Yes, I can summarise 3 days of activity into one word.

We did nothing but listen to the managers of each and every department that exists in the hotel talk about what they do. And some honestly do not have the presentation skill or they just fail to connect to teenagers.
For three days I've been dozing off in the training room.
Trying to keep my eyes open was very very VERY difficult.

Had a small treasure hunt game yesterday which was weird and UN-exciting.
In the end my team lost. WTF.
Today was more of a moving around activity.
But the talking part was boring again.
No energy to sustain throughout the day.

Went to Pavi and bought another pair of ugly black shoes.
At least still much better than the kitten heels I have. Those hurt like crap.

Submission date is pushing me up the wall.
I'm scared and tired and so stressed out.
Not to mention the family member who was neurotic and most of the time annoying.
The older one.

I miss the solitude in penang, and the carefree life besides worrying about what to have for dinner and lunch.
I'm scared and nervous all the time here.
And I really hope this too, shall pass soon.

Till then.   

I'm afraid. I'm so so afraid.
I'm afraid that I'm not good enough.
That in the end, you saw that I wasn't worth it.
That I was not worthy of your time.
I'm afraid too, for myself.
To leave my heart shattered again. 
And then trying to piece it back.
I'm afraid that one day, we just might not make it through. 
Whether the fault is mine or yours. 
And that even our friendship could not last.
Followed by the distancing between us. 
I'm afraid. 
That it was not time yet.
The time still waits for us, to know the right moment.
But I'm afraid that if I let this go.
I will never get it back. 
No more living in regrets. 
Is this the step I should take?
Should I fight for it, if I know you're worth fighting for. 
That you really cared, from the bottom of your heart.
That you would do almost anything for me. 
Anything at all. 
Tell me what do I do now. 

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