Long hiatus

Today's post will not explain the usual disappearances where I was too lazy to blog about anything at all as usual or there is just simply nothing to blog about at all. I will be explaining my three weeks long absence due to a medical condition.

So to simply start off, I had my double eyelid stitching done at a certain clinic which I have been wanting to for a very long time. The stitches were healing perfectly and I was quite happy with my decision. That happiness only lasted me about two weeks when the pain started. It wasn't all that unbearable that time, it only felt like there was something in my left eye that just wouldn't go away. Then, I immediately made plans to see my doctor. 

When I woke up the next morning all prepared to see the doctor, my eye became swollen and I could barely open my eyes. I didn't know it had got so serious overnight. However with full confidence in my doctor, I went off to see her and had her invert my eyelids to see what was wrong. She told me there as nothing wrong and that everything was healing as it should be, definitely nothing out of the ordinary. I was then given some antibiotic eye drops and pills, and then sent home. 

For the next two days, I religiously ate the pills and dripped the antibiotic into my left eye but nothing seemed to take the pain away. The pain felt like a burning sensation and it was terribly uncomfortable. I went to see the doctor again to understand what was going on and why I wasn't healing at all. My doctor inverted my eyelid and checked and could not see what was causing the pain and swelling. She assured me it wasn't the stitches that was causing the swelling and asked if I wanted to have it removed. I had an appointment in the next few days and didn't want any surgery done and so I rejected the idea. The doctor then asked me to see an ophthalmologist as there was nothing much she could do from here on.  

So, I made my way to Advance Vision clinic to see Dr Yeoh and I was diagnosed with conjunctivitis, chin then seemed like a small problem and was assured by the doctor that I would heal very quickly. I left the clinic happy and assumed that by dripping the antibiotic and inflammation eyedrops, I would be fine very soon. That night, the pain started. Every time I tried to close my eyes to sleep I would feel the burning sensation, like someone was lighting a match on my eye. It hurt to sleep and I had to keep my eyes open until I could not hold on any longer. Then, in pain I would drift off to sleep until the next morning, the pain went on for a few days until I could not take it anymore, and so I returned to see Dr Yeoh at the Advance Vision clinic where he prescribed to me an eye lubricant to ease my pain. He also told me that it was quite a bad case of conjunctivitis and it would take longer to heal. And so I left the clinic, hoping the lubricant eye gel would ease my pain and I could sleep but that was not the case. 

As told by the doctor, the burning sensation was a side effect of the steroid eye drop and that I would have to bear with the pain until I heal. For the next entire week, I was weak and tired constantly because I barely slept at night. The pain was eating away at me slowly, it would burn right at the back of my eyes and then sometimes there would be a sharp pain poking at my eyeball. I lost my appetite and strength to do anything else. 

During the entire week, I was patiently waiting for the pain to subside and for my eyes to heal. Apparently that was not the case. One day, I lost my vision to blurriness and I became desperate to see a doctor. I drove with that blurry vision, fighting the pain and struggling to see the road under the bright sunlight so I could see the doctor. Then, Dr Yeoh was not in and I was referred to Dr Jason who then diagnosed me with slight cornea abrasions and severe inflammation. Painkillers were then dripped into my eye and the pain went away. The doctor placed a contact lens on my eye to protect the abrasion and gave me another set of medication. I was then asked to return tomorrow to check on the abrasions and ensure that there was no infection. 

I left the clinic happy with my numbed eyes until I got home and the pain became intense. I was tearing so badly that my face became sticky and wet and my eye got so swollen that I could barely open one side of my eye without hurting the other. 

I returned to the clinic to find out that the abrasion has stretched across my lower cornea and the inflammation at the top made healing even more difficult. Dr Jason had to refer me back to Dr Yeoh who patched up my eye and referred me to another doctor as he would be away for some time. I left the clinic and took a nap whilst the painkillers were still in my eye but woke up to the burn. I had cried so often the past few days my eyes felt numb but the pain was internal, and it was killing me from the inside. 

The next day which was a Sunday, I could not open my eyes any longer. I was then taken to a clinic at Jalan Gasing to check with the doctor what was going on and why my eyes would not heal. Dr Kok checked my eyes and mentioned about the abrasion, and he saw a small thread sticking out on my eyelid and referred me to see an oculaplasty surgeon as there was nothing much he could do. I was then sent home in pain and I could not leave my room at all. I lay in bed all day like yesterday battling with the pain, crying and contorting my body constantly to ease the burn. Sometimes, I had to bite on the pillow so I wouldn't yell out constantly. It was hell.

I called Dr. Alice the next morning thinking I could make an appointment to see her immediately but unfortunately it was a public holiday. I explained my predicament to her and after awhile, we agreed to meet at her friend's clinic at Jalan Gasing. My father immediately drove home from work to take me to the clinic where I finally met Dr Alice who practiced oculaplasty at ISEC in Mid Valley. She checked my eyes and told me the abrasion was quite severe and that it stretched right across my entire lower cornea. Because my eyes were so terribly swollen, she couldn't invert my eyelid to check what was wrong and could only give me some pills and drops to heal the swelling and ease the pain. I returned home, anxious to pop the painkillers but it didn't help at all. I was left with the constant burn and sharp pricks of pain in my eye.

We met up again at the same clinic the next day and she inverted my eyelid but she could not see what was wrong. She gave me some numbing eye drops to ease the terrible pain and told me to use it sparingly as it would only slow down the healing. So I returned home and burned for a good 5 hours until I finally dripped the numbing eyedrops into my eye and fell asleep. I could not eat and I could barely sleep. There was no way I was able to open my eyes and I had to sit on a chair in my toilet to bathe. 

Finally on Wednesday, I went to ISEC in Mid Valley to see her in her office where she has the equipment to invert my eyelid in order to finally find out what went wrong. As I lay on the medical bed whilst she stretch and poke at my eyes, she finally found the thread that was scratching my eye to pieces. Dr Alice had to give me three injections of anaesthesia to numb my eyelid so she could stretch it further back to locate the thread that was hiding in my eye. It was a complicated situation, the thread would hide itself when my eyelid is stretched, then it would stick out when it wasn't stretched. After what seemed like an eternity to me, Dr Alice managed to locate the suture and made a small incision on my eyelid to remove it. Right after that, weeks of pain and torture evaporated into thin air. The severe pain I felt disappeared and the last few days of torture was like a nightmare from yesterday. I was given a day to rest and I would see her tomorrow to check on the healing process.

So far, my left eye is still bandaged as the abrasion still needs time to heal, but I have never felt more relieved in my entire life. Though it was uncomfortable, the burning pricks of pain did not return at all and I was happily eating again. 

Three whole weeks of torture, of pain and only pain. Even though the pain was only in one eye, I could feel my spirit leaving me, and that my entire body was weak and sluggish. I was bed ridden for 5 whole days in the past week, coping with the constant pain and the lack of vision, completely unable to do anything else. Simple things like brushing my teeth or chewing was difficult because all I could feel was the acute pain and I could not focus on doing anything else. I was scared but the pain left me devoid of any other feelings and emotions. My mind and body was entirely focused on coping with the pain, just coping and holding on. I'm glad that's all over now.