different

"I find it kinda funny, and I find it kinda sad. "

- mad world                      

its weird how some people tries to stop themselves from doing something they shouldn't.
but ended up doing it anyway. 


how one should fall for another but refrain from it for all the screaming reasons. 
reasons that were good enough. 
why then began to fall in the first place. 


sometimes, it feels like holding your breathe for a very long time.
and you can't let the air out of your lungs. 
every moment, you drown in your own breath. 
and every second you drown, you resurface again. 


it's like dying and then brought back to life.


only it's being done a thousand times over. 




and you realize how more alive you are. 
that you can feel every stab of pain in your heart. 
and you wanna cry, and run, and scream all at the same time. 


so much is kept inside that you want to burst out and just let it all go.
but you can't. 


there are consequences to everything you do. 
one move will then lead to another. 
like how dominoes fall and then hit another. 


we can't do as we please, because there are others who live too. 
and we can't change things as we please, because the world does not only evolve around you.


i no longer believe in miracles
when it comes to love. 
and when it comes to me. 


being in love is like placing yourself in someone else's hand.
and that they may decide to protect you and love you and keep you safe.
and that they may also decide to just break you one day.