a second chance

Luck, has definitely not been on my side lately.

It seems that I am running out of any.

The moment I have been granted a second chance, another opportunity to salvage what is left of the situation, luck decides to totally abandon me. I had to miss the second grooming check because I apparently have conjunctivitis and this appeared absolutely out of nowhere at the worst possible moment.

Called the lady to have it rescheduled and now it seems I am hanging on the empty scale on one side, waiting to be lifted. First I have been worrying incessantly about my skin that does not seem to want to co-operate with me, and now this. Life has been utterly depressing.

It is so difficult for me to close my eyes for long because of that burning sensation behind my infected eyeball and it hurts like crap. I am only drifting between wake and sleep and wake again to keep my eyes open so it won't hurt as much.

I only hope for a better rest tonight and good news to come in the following days. 

agony

Agony.

Beyond power of speech.

I have been in a state of trance, of a kind of depressing spell that I could not break out of. News came to me telling me that I was not able to fullfil my dream. My life lies on the balance of a tip above a picket fence. Would I fall onto the soft grass, or would I land myself sore on the concrete pavement. Waiting is a torture and I feel myself praying more often than before.

2015

I laughing at myself at how ironic my title is. As if people aren't sick of seeing 2015 "new years resolution-ish" posts already.

It's been ages since I've really sat down to type. Probably counting the last time I've types more than two sentences was when I was still preparing my dissertation and research papers. 

So, let's get boogie to it. 

Not much of a new year/christmas celebration kind of person. The last month passed by quickly and quietly. Besides heading back o my hometown for a short vacation, and to see my grandmother. AND also to complete the most important task; eating. Yes I am unashamed because all I did was eat eat and eat. So my exercise routine then pretty much went out the window. Regardless, my tongue and my stomach was in a very very happy place. 

After my vacation, I went for a change. Not a change as in attire wise or living habits, or even personal traits kind of change. It was a typical appearance change. I loved it and yes it was quite painful but I loved it all the same and everything else I went through was worth it. I am excited to embrace the new year with a new job and I hope more exciting things are yet to come. 

Finally, I get to be home to celebrate chinese new year, which of course still remains my favourite holiday. well... you know why. I hope to see my friends soon when they come back as our countdown to our reunion starts. 

So, my new years resolution? NONE.

Except that I will probably work harder, and shop less if that is even humanely possible. Exercise more because well... I want to constantly create better versions of myself. I hope to cope better with people calling me fat as it seems that until I look like a lamp pole, people's mouths will still spout poison. As with everyone else wishes, I look forward to the coming year with hope and grace. 

Until then my loves.