today, I feel like writing again.
I just feel like recent events were all bad choices.
My stuff got stolen, then my friend found a home that was cheaper and better,
and I just realized I lost a sum of money.
Luck has not been on my side lately, and life is just not working out for me.
I went to Brighton the other day and I saw the my uni's art department.
And today, I saw a girl who just got accepted to Tisch School of Arts at NYU.
What am I doing here?
Why am I pushing myself into doing I so half-heartedly want to do?
Sometimes I wonder, am I walking in the right direction?
Is this the path I would choose for myself?
Is this truly, truly what I want?
I don't know.
Everyone has dreams.
And everyone would want to achieve their dreams.
I have dreams of losing myself in colours, and paint.
I have dreams of petals, ruffles, and neverending swirls in a thousand hues.
I have dreams of painting translucent wings, butterflies, pink clouds and gushing waterfalls.
I have dreams of studying art, but I did not want it bad enough.
I guess having dreams doesn't mean that if I strayed from my path, my dreams aren't fulfilled.
Who knows, in the future, that my dreams would suddenly crash onto me.
And what I do now would interlock with what I want to do.
We don't only have one dream.
Dreams do come in plural for a reason.
We can't have everything we want.
But we could work for those that we really need in our lives.
I guess we'll see how my life would turn out to be.
I've made a decision.
And I want to live through it.
This is my dream.
At least, for now.