Thursday, November 19, 2009

the incomprehensible mask

SPM is now on the halt for three days before I have to resume my monotonous studying again.
Terry's add maths exam is on Saturday. I am doomed doomed doomed.
What was the word to repleace the word doomed in english again?

For the whole time, I could only at you face and wonder what thought could be crossing within your mind. It's so hard to try to understand what are you thinking of. Blank, blank, blank. Nothing else. Thought you will say a word or two, there is nothing else. Is it so empty within you? Being clueless all time can be so tiring. Trying so hard to understand. But that black stare of yours was unbearable. It felt like as if you have nothing for me. And it hurts sometimes to think of it that way. I still feel like I'm falling, plunging into this deep dark ravine that I have created for myself. Loneliness secludes me from the rest of the world. But I guess this is one part you wouldn't understand. For I wouldn't understand it myself. I could never comprehend why fairy tales made everything so easy and perfect when it really isn't at all. Reality isn't so much of a story book isn't it. It's so much more.

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