Define love will ya??

Love is never having to say you're sorry.
Love is having to say you're sorry every five minutes

Love is the interdependence of process.
Taking pleasure from the happiness of another.
The inability to be content without the contentment of another.

Love is the April sun on the blossoming rose.

Love is meeting people's needs.
Love is the emotional pleasure we gain from the virtue we perceive in others.
Hold Love as important and most everything else will sort itself out.
An anagram of vole.

Love is the difference between you, me and us.

Love isn't blind, it sees more and not less, but beacuse it sees more, it is willing to see less.

Love reminds you that nothing else matters.

Its you I cant live without

Went to penang and came back this morning. Will blog bout it tomorrow though. Still kinda lazy. There are so many things to write about and yet they all just come together and make me confuse all over again. I just can't seem to express myself in words like I used to. Everything is such a blur to me. I could not think of what may become of me but all i could think about is the past. How i wish i could still linger there a little while linger and wrap myself with things that I want to stay with forever. All I want is to go back to those days where i was most happy. Why don't you just grant that small tiny wish of mine. It isn't that hard to do. here I am struggling to get over it and go back from whence I came but you came and mess it up all over again. i don't know if that should be a relief for me because I could never forget you. I want everything to be the way they use to be for me. I'm still walking down that same old road deluding myself and refraining myself from going crazy. I am so crazy about you. Meeting you, just meeting you was like the beat thing thats ever EVER happenend to me. You've somehow brought light back to my once dark life. I could never bring myself to forget you. And though you were too perfect to be true, I still hope. Maybe you've realised it and maybe you don't. But I could never care about that anymore. I have never been so sure of myself. Maybe I'm not sure about myself but I am definitely sure about what i want and ever wanted. you .

Tell me where the rainbow is
Could you still give me back my wish
Why is the sky so silent
And all of the clouds are running to somewhere else
Is there a mask for me?
Recalling too much of the past can accomplish nothing
Perhaps time is a kind of antidote
And also the first poison I'm taking right now
If I could not see your smile, how can I sleep well
Your silhouette voice is so close to me, yet I cannot embrace it
Without the earth, the sun will still go round
Without reasons, I still can walk alone
I know that if you want to leave, its easy for you
You said dependence was our obstacle
Eventhough we're not together, but will you still accept my love
Assuming that I'm the last to understand everything

Faith is all I've ever needed.

Went to watch Prince Caspian with Ai Ni and the movie seriously rocked balls!!!! It was totally awesome. Sat in the seat for two whole friggin hours and 15 minutes. Enjoyed the movie except for the part where this stupid girl behind me kept kicking my chair and talking non stop... URGH... that was so friggin irritating. .... Today was some sort of girl bonding time with Lim Ai Ni. Haven't laugh that much in months. I'm glad I was still my old self again. LOLs. I'm leaving for Penang tomorrow. Don't know whether I should feel excited like I usually do. Feels like i have nothing left to do during the holidays besides thinking bout certain stuff and yes, I know I'm crazy but I plan to do add maths dring the hols. Practice makes perfect.. =]

The dreams she dreamt

This is a little something from me, a little part of a big story.

The dreams she dreamt, of blue skies with streaks of pink. And painted butterflies dotted the horizon. Her dreams of which she'd kept to herself. Her pain that she cries at night didn't have anyone to understand. She was left alone to think of unsightly thoughts. Her sweet memories given tortured her now, as they seem to loom above and around her. She stared at the fireplace, watching intently as the red dancers prickled at the logs. The cold does not bother her anymore, the warmth glow of the fire could not give her the comfort she needed so badly. And she couldn't cry fro her tears had dried during those long sleepless nights. Recovering was a slow and painful process she had to go through. She grabbed her cloak and went out into the cold moonlit night. the breeze of December bit at her nose, yet she felt nothing. He meant to her more than life itself, and each day that passed her by crushed her harder. She was falling apart as the world she once created crumble infront of her eyes. She walked towards the verandah and sat down, and closed her eyes. Was it a slip of fate that caused all of this, was it unintentional?? She thought life was once a beautiful mask garnished with feathers and sequins, but behind that mask hid and ugly face. She was decieved. Confusion circled her as she thought of which path to take. She couldn't just move on like that. No. He was too important to her. She stood up slowly, clutching her cloak close to her. She descended the steps to the house and walked to the garden. The sounds of the bubbling fountain filled the night. She closed her eyes and started dancing, she could feel herself in his arms again. Her feet lightly paced the garden floor as she twirled and smiled. He held her arm and her waist, then did the waltz. She could breathe in his musky scent that reminded her of fields of lavenders. He then held her close to him and buried his face in her neck. He whispered goodbye and disappeared into the night. She opened her eyes and realised that she was crying. She was finally letting her feelings flow after many many painful days. She lifted the skirts of her deep red dress and sat by the fountain. She could still feel him close to her. It was just so hard to let go. she basked in the cool adn fresh air and sighed. She felt for her locket at her neck and held it tightly. It was the only thing that reminded her everything she felt existed, he existed, besides her fading memory. The locket clicked open and she layed her eyes upon a photograph of a young and happy girl in the arms of a young man. They were happy and in love with each other, she couldn't believe that was her in the picture. Her heart ached, and she was deeply wounded. How could fate be so cruel, she deserved better in life. She took out the pin that held her hair up and let her shiny black ringlets fall to her shoulders. She cast the pin aside along with her cloak. She then stood up and walked into the fountain. The waters spurted put and landed on her red dress. Slowly, she laid down and let the waters close above her. Now, her pain would finally be at ease.

Feathers and Sequins

Is it just another illusion to cover the horrible truths from everyone? Of how disastrous the world has become, Of how horrible everything good and innocent can end up to be. We are all the victims of time and how much longer can we remain that way. I'm going crazy trying to put everything behind me and move on. Will I even feel better that way? The wound inflicted is too deep, left unheal and unclosed. I can only fool myself for so long. The illusions won't last and eventually go away, leaving me to wonder did any of this existed at all. Could any of this have even existed. Were our lives meant to put it that way, ending up in pain and sorrow? No, there may be people who were lucky and never have to live like this. We have to try to make the best out of everything thats happens to us. After all, we can only live once.

Can I pull this off?

I don't think that I can hold it any longer. Your presence still lingers here and it won't leave me alone. I keep bringing up those thoughts that I want to bury forever. Those unforgettable moments. They loom above me as if figuring out a way to hurt me. I still can't believe this is happening to me. And I can't get over it. It hurts me too deeply. Eventhough I try to note over there is still a place for you here.

My kind of days

Exams are soo screwed, okayy maybe it wouldn't be all that bad if I just put another extra hardwork into it. Teacher's day was lets put it that way- interesting. The teachers were like singing and Pengetua was busy catching students talking. A women with who uses both her organs at the same time...amazing. LOL. I think that the pengetua damn dulan us already, we kept complaining bout the sun. But its true, they expect us to just sit under the hot sun while the teachers get their gifts......??? Then there was the big "BOOM" sound. Kinda wish that someone got hurt in the process, especially pengetua!!! She was being so rude and racist, calling us biadab and our parents not raising us right.... Anyways, we got back to our exams later on and went home with a small memory of teachers day at SMKBUD(4).

I still can't seem to leave the past behind me. I just keep standing there wondering and floating about. Why do changes seemed so drastic when it doesn't affect many people in the process? Only me. If only they would notice the changes and try to decipher my emotions that are changing too. I can't be left alone to think of things that would hurt me deeply though these thoughts were once something i would love to recall. Now it all just seems useless now. Its all part of a game of fate. I can't do anything anymore but just follow the game. Am I given the chance or giving the chance?? Nothing just seems right to me anymore. Everything I do just brings up the past even more often. Just face the fact that I can't and may not get over it.